#taking it out on other people wont change what happened.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ender-cloud · 9 hours ago
Text
HYDE IS IN THIS UPDATE HOLY SHIT!!!
Tgs spoilers under cut
Haha, you guys remember that one off comment i made last week
Tumblr media
Ha ha ha……. Oh god, I’ll get to that when I get to it. Lets start with more of Jaspers good points and leadership skills first
Tumblr media
Jasper makes a great point here.
The Lodgers are the society! They make the magic, the energy, the environment, Jekyll is just the ring leader of it all making sure things don’t get to out of hand, but in the end he had started to have a hard time being able to find that control and keep them in check.
This is why a type of “revolution” like this will do more good then harm in this situation because it will allow Jasper to take Jekylls place of keeping everyone together as the times turn and they need to protect themselves.
But uh… maybe the lodgers might not see this as I do
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ok ok, I get the Lodgers hesitants, Fritz brought to my attention that because Jasper is the newest lodger, despite everything they probably dont have enough trust in him.
Which I definitely get, they are in hard times right now and its hard to trust Jasper, even if they’ve known him for a while they were just betrayed by someone they’ve known for years, how can they trust someone they’ve known for a little over a month (I think)
Also theres a reason why I said that one off comment, not only because it was a trope I see a lot, but because I truly felt like it was a possibility
BUTTTT!! With this it doesn’t necessarily mean that they wont 100% not follow through with what Jasper is saying.
It is clear that they are unsure, yes, but they may need to think it over, and theres got to be a few lodgers who agree with his points.
Some who agree with Jasper that may help the other Lodgers get on board to. If they are truly Reluctant to Jasper leading them because they haven’t known him for long, if some people who they have been living with for years joining up may give them the boost to join.
Jasper made many great points in his speech, and with so many people not everyone could have disagreed with what he said.
I believe this moment of doubt will be just that, a moment, but once other people start agreeing and maybe adding their own points, then it will grow into what Jasper wanted before, the lodgers believing him and letting him lead them in this hard time
It will be the next part of this turning point into someone more confident for Jasper, because while motivating the lodgers with words might be easy, actually forming a plan and leading them through it will be harder, it will also teach him to not give up quickly when things look bad.
Tumblr media
Hyde’s just casually acting like he didn’t just have a mental breakdown and immediately just teases Lanyon (I love them so much chat it’s unreal)
ALSO THIS CONFIRMS THAT HYDES MENTAL BREAKDOWN WAS HAPPENING THE SAME TIME AS JASPERS SPEACH!!!
Anyway, back to the actual pannel.
I find it interesting how in Hydes head, he also has a reputation to keep up, its not just Jekyll. The only difference is that hyde has his tough guy, bad boy rep (I hate myself for saying that) He cant let anyone see his weakness, not even Jekyll.
He clearly has mentally trained himself to be able to just change his mood on a switch, but even if he can change how he acts his face has to show some evidence of what happened, i mean we’ve seen him be a little bloody from the glass and Lanyon must have seen that too.
He might be talking about what Hyde looks like when he said he made quite a mess out of himself, not only the glass, which might make Hyde nervous, i feel like he wont be able to keep his facade up for long with how he was acting before.
It’s a little hard delve into the few words they exchanged but im excited for the next update, which may include some blaming of what happened to Jekyll.
(Also more Lanyon and Hyde which I’ll take anyday 🙏🙏)
Happy Holidays Btw!! I hope you have a great Christmas or anything you may celebrate!!
27 notes · View notes
snekdood · 3 months ago
Text
i think until theres some sort of moderation on social media sites to prevent dog piling, this shits always gonna turn super toxic
#sometimes. we only need 1 (one) guy to say the thing. not twenty different guys to varying levels of aggression and condescension#we need some sort of filter or something so ppl with large followings can hear the One critique instead of multiple variations#of the same shit which will only overwhelm them and make them shut down#also obviously to prevent harassment and suicide baiting n shit. but thats a given i feel like.#this might be something to work on *after* we get that other shit pretty well locked down#muting a post isnt enough... bc you know theres gonna be actual good critiques but its hard to find amongst all the bs#what if we like voted to have one post to represent all of a certain critique yknow. maybe it could have drafts or something.#and no that doesnt sound unreasonable. if you're actually progressive and you actually want to change peoples minds you will#go to the lengths you need to to do that. rather than being a petty anonymous commenter who probably loads their comments w ad hom#having drafts would be good bc then we could fully flesh out what we want to say and having other people to check out the post too would#mean there'd be someone to help filter out all the aggressive shit to make a more productive statement#bc otherwise... if we're not trying to educate people and just yelling at them to be perfect.... we're not rly doing shit are we#we're literally just repeating the abuse we endured in our childhood: people constantly demanding perfection from us.#taking it out on other people wont change what happened.#when you yell at them in a way you are yelling at your younger self who also didnt know better.
0 notes
itsseriouslyridiculous · 2 months ago
Text
I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
5 notes · View notes
depresseddepot · 4 days ago
Text
applying to more jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha :))))))))))))))))))
#i guess this isnt too personal but i work in the library field and to be an actual librarian you need a masters degree in library science#(which i dont have yet. i dont even have my bachelors until june)#(but i DO have almost 8 years of public library EXPERIENCE which has to count for something right?)#anyway my hopes are low that i will get any of these jobs and getting lower by the second because they ALL require an mlis#and thats fine! i dont mind working an assistant job until im 40 if thats what it takes#but i just need to FIND ONE#i just need ONE job that pays at least 30k. maybe even at least 25k and i could make that work#im not in a position to move out rn bc im still paying for college which kind of limits my choices#so im trying to keep it together lmao. when i graduate i may still only be able to get a part time but maybe at a high enough wage#and then i can MOVE there and i wont be pissing money into my gas tank#:( i wish i picked a different field#i know i can change my field whenever and i fucking WILL at this point but i need something NOW so i can move out#and all i have is public library experience :(#when i graduate ill start thinking genuinely about alternative fields i could get my foot in but for now im just sad and poor and stuck#i think about how different my life could have gone if i chose literally any other field and it makes me burst into tears#i HATE money. i hate having to fucking worry about this all the time#like i love it (bc i need it desperately) but there is nothing i hate more#well. back to applications :(#im being so dramatic btw. for ref ive literally applied to 2 jobs my entire life and only been rejected to one of them#which happened last month#i do think these people will all reject me but i dont have evidence yet to become all kms about it#im just scared lol
2 notes · View notes
kalashtars · 1 year ago
Text
sometimes I truly genuinely forget nuance is dead on the internet and then I have to read people who should be on the same side argue about politics on the internet and I start wanting to bash my head into a wall.
#damien.txt#ohhh my god. rattling the bars of my cage. lesser of two evils is a real and true concept.#revolution and changing a fucking country and keeping marginalized people alive takes many different forms#and guess what! voting for the 'somewhat lesser right wing' president over the 'extremely right wing' president IS one of those forms!#change is not going to happen because you voted third party or didn't fucking vote. it is actively going to make things worse actually#truly i think half the people making these comments have no idea how the us government works.#revolutions and protests and community projects and other revolutionary activity i wont explicitly name here will change things. and we#should also be doing that. but we can't just sink into the idealism of those things and ignore the actions we can take around us in reality#and in our reality at this moment. truly. voting strategically to keep republicans out of office is critical.#do you know why the government has been particularly shit the past couple years? sure yeah biden is a shit president and that's part of it#but also. thinking back to 2017-2020. when trump appointed all those conservative right wing people#to positions that opened up. like the supreme court justices. and laws and things started to take a downturn?#whoa..... almost like.... we should prevent that from happening again..... like that was Bad or something......#im truly begging you to take a look at project 2025 and see if that's something you're willing to risk#'im still not voting for joe he supports genocide' cool i guess. hope you enjoy your moral superiority complex. let me know how you plan#to actually do anything about the genocide anyways.#politics
5 notes · View notes
rinnstars · 20 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
4 walls!
in which itoshi rin builds a wall between him and the world and youre the only one with the key
itoshi rin x reader: fluff, drabble + not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated
to the world, itoshi rin is somehow cold, emotionless, unaffected - the way his face is fixed in the dead-panned face as though carved into it by a sculpture, the way he doesnt bother responding or dignifying jabs or comments as he walks past the desks, the way his eyes linger on only his goals over the people that surrounds him. to his first football club, he is nothing short of a disappointment, always compared to his genius of a brotehr, nothing short of dull, always hiding his report cards whenever exam season arrives, nothing short of cold, his mouth barely spoke a word during his stay there. to his classmates, he is just an average joe - just another classmate not focused in class, too busy focusing on his dream world wrapped in the football magazines he has stacked underneath his table, just another guy, albeit way more quiet and responsive than most students, just another mediocre and average student, with grades that just passed the mark to move on to the next and with abysmal club attendance.
yet, to him, he knows he is the opposite of all the things they say - he knows he’s rather soft hearted, a cry-baby at the slightest tone change, he’s rather insecure, each comparison to his brother only digs the knife slotted against his heart deeper into the already gory mess of an organ it has become over the years, he’s rather passionate, driving him to continue persevering against all odds, against his own belief and reality, against his own blood. but he rather it stays that way - maybe its better to not let them see the real him, to not let them too be disappointed at the real reflection that stares back at him in the dirty mirror, to not hurt himself more by giving them the full him.
and so he builds a wall. he builds a wall made of bricks and stones, block by block until he is trapped in his own making, until he no longer can get hurt or even see the outside world outside of the house he has essentially trapped himself in, until he wont get hurt anymore - not by his club members, not by his classmates, not by his brother. and he tries to convince himself, he likes it better this way - without others, there wont be another sae - he wont have to witness his own heart ripped out and thrown on the grassy patch of field another time, he wont have to go through nights of sobbing uncontrollably that leaves his pillow gross and wet by the time morning rolls around, he wont have to feel as though he lost a loved one to death as he occasionally open his drawer that features a photobook of him and his brother still grinning without a care in the world without knowing what would have happened next with dried tears stains that dirty those photographs.
and yet, its with you, rin thinks his walls are entirely down. to him, youre the key to the complicated lock in his heart that he without a doubt passes to you. you’ve always been beside him, even when his eyes were fixated on sae that has always been in front of him - beside him in class where you two slacked at the back of class playing your phone and him reading soccer magazine underneath the table as you two occasionally bicker whilst laughing, beside him on his bed right on top of the messy blankets he knows you dont mind with his arms around you like its second nature to him, beside him on that bus whether to and fro school or even to his training facility that takes practically hours to get to as you drool on his uniform that he doesn’t have the heart to let you know even after all these years.
you’re the bright star and sun that melts away his icy cold castles and mountains of walls as though they were nothing, rin thinks. the way you beam at him whenever you see him right at the bus stop, waving your hands excitedly as your footsteps springs towards him and he feels like he’s in those cliche romance mangas you talk about, almost seeing those cherry blossom trees and hearing that love song that repeats in his head whenever youre oh so close to him. the way you listen to him, nodding along even though half of what he’s saying are nonsense word jumbles practically sews and patches his broken heart back, warming his once ice cold atmosphere. the way you do things — passing him those sugary sweet candies that tastes just like you, letting him copy off your homework while you both laugh quietly at the back of class makes him wish this could last forever, the way your hands so gently combs through his emerald hair makes him melt into a lovesick puddle right in your hands as he looks at your eyes that he swears the whole galaxy is inside it.
and maybe youre like those hero’s and magicians he’s watched in those cartoons when he was a little kid, you must be. so enchanting: how you manage to coax him out of his room time and time again to go to wherever you want, hell rin thinks he would even go to the very end of the world if you simply asked. youre like the fire element to his ice element in those stupid games, the sun and the moon from those posts he reads about your favourite love mangas to catch up to you, the golden retriever and the black cat trope he hears you rave about, the “lalala” and “okokok” tiktok trend and everything under the sun. if youre not a secret extraterrestrial creature that he bets you are, the equivalent to his new found destroyer ego to make a team together to destroy the earth or something like that he jokes, maybe just maybe you two were destined by fate.
in another life, you would be the witch to find an abandoned familiar he thinks - warming and melting his icy exterior with both your warmth you exude and too the hot soup you always cook for him whenever he’s running a cold. in another life, you would have been the hero to have helped him out of whatever villainous organisation he finds himself trapped in in his rage and fear with your warmth and that bright cheshire grin of yours anytime. in another life, you would have been the bright and well-liked royal of the castle who finds him, a lonesome and attempting knight and make him yours he thinks. he’s sure of it — where yours and his constellations are always beside each other, where your palm fits perfectly with his like two puzzle pieces merged together, where yours and his heart and ribs and guts are shared together.
so for now, rin will sit here right beside you, enjoying the warmth you exude as he places his head right on your shoulder, smiling at your yelp at surprise and attempts to push him off back to his side of the bed: youre the only one he would let in to see the raw him, and he hopes he’s the same to you too, the one you can truly always shine the brightest with.
520 notes · View notes
b14augrana · 6 months ago
Text
Ad Astra Per Aspera
Your story goes deeper than what meets Alexia’s eye
Alexia Putellas x teen!reader
Tumblr media
pt. 2 masterlist
Warnings: this story contains depictions of alcoholism, adultery, and familial issues. read at your own discretion. aditionally, alexia is pretty mean in this and there wont be a happy ending for a few parts 😬
A/N: massive thank you to this request for the amazing idea 🫶🏼. r is 18 y/o but still going under teen!reader. this is going to be multiple parts because theres so much i could do for this request that i find impossible to fit into one part and write to a good standard, so here you go!
The Stands
Football unites the world. It brings people, cities, and countries together, like nothing else.
You’ve seen it happen in your beautiful hometown of Barcelona — all you can see during the hours leading up to any match set to be played in the Camp Nou is red and blue in the sky. Blaugrana painted the streets below, and the entire city came alive with the commotion from the stadium.
You spent your entire childhood being part of the roaring atmosphere, waving your Barça flag proudly in the air alongside every other flag and wearing the infamous colours across your chest.
Most of all, you prayed with every bit of faith in you, that one day you’d be on the pitch, playing for the club of your dreams.
Everyone in the crowd had their own individual life. There could be a single mother, a lawyer who used up his last days of leave to attend the match, a young boy with his father, an elderly person on an outing with his wife, someone from abroad who’s spent thousands and travelled for hours to watch their favourite player in real life.
11 players could bring together almost 100,000 people just to watch them kick a ball around, and you wanted to have the same effect. You wanted to be so good at football and have the ability to transform a simple sport about kicking a ball around into 90 minutes of entertainment, performance, art. You wanted to do it with Barcelona.
You trained meticulously for months. You passed your small, worn out ball against the same fence in your backyard, you practiced your touch by juggling until the frustration made you storm away in tears and you learned new skills and used your own shoes as cones to pose as defenders and dribble around.
When you went to the Camp Nou to trial for the renowned La Masia academy, you were little and clutching your FC Barcelona backpack for support. The stadium already looked so big when you were up in the stands, but when it was empty and you were actually on the pitch, it was even bigger. You were stood on the same grass as your idols that once had the same dream as you, and that was unbelievable.
The start of your journey as a player at FC Barcelona had begun.
Day after day, you woke up early for training. Your siblings were never awake at that time, so the rare moment of peaceful alone time with your mother was something you looked forward to every morning.
She drove you to the La Masia facilities and then picked you up at sunset. Sometimes, when she had to work late, you and some of your teammates would go to the park and play with the other local kids until your parents came.
Those were the same teammates that you got promoted to the B team with, and the evening 5-a-side games in the park never stopped. They were your best friends — you all shared a common dream of getting to the first team and playing in big tournaments and winning titles, and even though you realistically wouldn’t all be able to do that, no one ever stopped believing that one day it would happen.
As you grew up and your career just started to take off, things started to change. Not just in football, but your life off the pitch too. All at the age of thirteen.
Your father started coming home late. As if your mother was stupid, he’d waltz into the house in the middle of the night, claiming he had to stay a little late because a last minute meeting was called or he lost track of the time. The mild arguments started, and when the late arrivals became more frequent, your mother’s suspicions grew stronger.
One night, it came to a halt. Just when you stopped expecting it, he came home at his regular time; half past six. The only difference was, he didn’t look happy to be home at all. A frown tainted his face ans there was something off-putting about his demeanour. Soon, it all made sense.
You watched from around the corner, your head barely peeking out. Your dad shrugged his blazer off, and you noticed the way his mouth twitched as if hesitating to say something. Once he spoke, a big part of you wished he hesitated a bit more and realised down the line that he was making a bad decision, but it was too late.
The reason he was working late, the secrecy, the floral smells that lingered on his shirts; he was never working overtime, the floral smells were not from the diffuser in the office, and he did have something to hide.
It was called infidelity.
Your siblings emerged from their rooms as soon as the cacophonous yelling started, and you were quick to usher them away from the arguing.
The reality of how bad the situation really was hadn’t yet settled in, but you knew the outcome wasn’t going to be good.
Your youngest brother complained about his rumbling stomach, and the other two were quick to jump on the hunger train. For a moment you were stumped, because you didn’t want to go into the kitchen where the argument was taking place and get dragged into it, so your solution was grabbing a €50 bill and sneaking out to the nearest restaurant.
You were the oldest of four kids. After you was one of two boys, Lorenzo, and then the twins, Magdalene and Dani. They shared the same passion for football as you, and your fondest memories consisted on being in the stands of Camp Nou with them.
All of you snagged a table in a cozy restaurant, one you were familiar with due to going there multiple times with the rest of your family.
The hour you spent in that restaurant with your siblings turned out to be the last hour of a carefree life you’d get to indulge in.
The Pitch
You turned 18 last week, but you got promoted to the first team last month. The headlines painted you as an emblem of success for Barça’s youth programme, the future captain of the first team, and there were all these opinions flying around about you as a player. The opinion that mattered most, though, was that of your captain.
You and Alexia Putellas didn’t get along. Her opinion on you was nothing short of disapproving, and she let you know of that as you arrived at practice.
“(Y/N),” the woman said, her voice holding notes of irritation as she approached you. You looked at her, preparing yourself for the inevitable lecture.
“You’re late again. You might be young, but over here you’re the same as all of us no matter your age, which means getting to training at the same time as us,” she berated you, her hands set on her hips and her eyebrows furled in annoyance.
“Look, captain, I had to–” you started, but your explanation was cut short by Alexia.
“I don’t have time for your excuses. Do better next time, or you’re sitting out of practice entirely. Go run your laps,” she snarled, dismissing you with a wave of her hand.
You could only watch in anger as she stormed away while the others looked at you sympathetically, and you bit your tongue as you walked to the locker room and dumped your bag in your cubby.
She belittled you in every interaction you two had, which was a shame because you really liked her beforehand. In fact, you looked up to her, and you looked forward to being captained by her, but now it was hell on earth every time you entered the gates and met her scrutinising gaze.
Training was nothing special. It was the same old passing drills, small-sided games, shooting and free kick practice, and then before you knew it, home time.
You slung your bag over your shoulder and left before Alexia could stop you and give you yet another lecture. After stopping at the primary school to pick up Magdalene and Dani, you three drove to the middle school to pick up Lorenzo. Barcelona rush hour was rife around the time you picked up your siblings, so you spent another half an hour stuck in traffic until you finally got home.
All you wanted was your bed, and a nap. Still, you dragged yourself to the kitchen to make something quick for dinner so it was ready for your siblings when they were hungry, and then you tidied up in the living room.
Ever since your dad left, your mother was a wreck, leaving you as the successor to her caretaking duties of the kids. She was never a drinker, but after he left, she found herself depending on alcohol for a quick escape.
It was nice for a little bit; a short break from the world that always ended too soon. She kept chasing and chasing that relief until she was in too deep, and it was never enough. The bottles multiplied, the cans lined the rubbish bins, the stench polluted the air that once smelled of a fresh vanilla essence, and she became latched onto it.
You blamed your father for it all, because it was his unchastity that motivated every drink. Your mother was a beautiful woman who loved her family more than herself.
That was what ruined her.
“Hermana, hermana,” Magdalene spoke, tugging on the sleeve of your shirt. You looked down just as you turned off the stove, and she rubbed her stomach, “I’m hungry.”
“Okay hermanita, ask the boys if they’re hungry, please,” you replied, smiling at her. She nodded and ran to their bedrooms, and soon they all emerged from around the corner.
After scooping generous amounts of macaroni and cheese onto their plates, you put some onto your plate and sat down with your siblings to eat. Together, you all talked about your busy days and they listened to you tell them all about your training. They loved hearing your stories about Barça, and every time, Magdalene and Dani would ask you to continue your stories until they fell asleep.
Tonight was no different as you tiptoed out of the twins’ bedroom, gently shutting the door behind you. As much as you loved sleeping after a long day, part of you also dreaded it, because it meant starting a new day and facing Alexia.
When you woke up, it was to gentle knocking on your bedroom door. You were awake enough to comprehend the quiet pattering of footsteps across your hardwood floors, and when tiny hands grazed your skin, you jolted awake. “Hermana, time to wake up! School time!” Magdalene chimed.
So your morning routine began.
With one sock and half your jacket over your head, you made three lunches for the kids right after making their breakfast. Your mother slowly slumped out of her bedroom, wrapping her robe tight around her.
“Bon día,” she mumbled, a smile on her face. With a glance over your shoulder, you acknowledged her before going back to slicing two oranges.
“Morning, mamá,” your siblings responded quietly, shoving food into their mouths to avoid speaking any further. She sat on the couch, sighing deeply.
As she walked past you, you could immediately recognise the stench of alcohol — no surprises there. Years ago, she would’ve smelled like warm musky perfume, not the pungent smell of chemicals.
“Can you make me something, hija? ‘M very hungry,” she said to you, looking your way. You kept your head down, sealing the lunchboxes and cleaning up the counter.
“No, ma, I have things to do. Make your own breakfast,” you responded coldly, “Hermanita, pequeños, bring your dishes here.”
Your siblings scrambled from the table with their empty plates, giving them a quick wash before retreating to their rooms to get their uniform on. On the couch, your mother was still begging for food.
“Hija.. I’m hungry,” the woman slurred.
“Mamá, I have to get your kids to school and go to my own job, which my captain is already angry at me for being late because I have to drive them all around Barna,” you hissed.
“Then I have to come home and make dinner after cleaning your mess. You can make your own breakfast, for once!”
You always felt bad for yelling at your mum, but your life was hard enough with trying to get to work and drop off your three siblings in time while worrying about making your mum a meal.
You had a chance at life. You had a chance to succeed, and you weren’t going to waste it. You weren’t going to rely on a man to look after you in the future until he turns around and wants to look after another woman, leaving you damned.
“Bye, mamá,” you grumbled, grabbing your keys from the bench and swooping your boot bag up from the floor.
It was Dani’s turn to pick which song to play on the radio on the drive to school. He chose a very popular song within your siblings; ‘Me Gustas Tu’. The song had been broadcasted on the radio one day, and everyone seemed to love it. Their favourite part of car rides to school was winding the windows down and singing as loud as they’d like.
Somehow, amongst your father leaving and your mother’s new habits, your siblings were always happy, and that’s what you admired most about them. Maybe they were unaware of the harsh reality, but they were still naïve and unscathed by everything that happened.
It was almost 9:30 in the morning when you started making your way to the training pitch. Mentally, you were preparing yourself for the big lecture you were about to get from Alexia and seriously didn’t need, but physically, you looked unbothered if not a bit tense in the shoulders.
You almost tripped on your way out of the car as you rushed around to get your gear. Walking into training everyday just to get yelled at by Alexia was never nice, but you were used to it. Unfortunately.
That wasn’t the sort of relationship a captain should have with one of her players. It was almost like she despised you, and if she had her way, you probably would’ve been off the team within the first week.
Sure enough, when you appeared on the pitch, the first thing you heard was the low whispers beside you.
“…She’s irresponsible and doesn’t belong on the first team. Being late once, I understand, but multiple times? Her excuses are not good enough–”
“Excuses? Ale, you’ve never let her explain herself.”
“There shouldn’t be any need for excuses anyways, because she shouldn’t be late at all. If she wants to take her time and be let off easy like a child, send her back to the B team. Look, she isn’t even here yet.”
“She is, though. Look behind you.”
The woman turned around, her glare settling on you and being as cold as ever. She spun her whole body around and folded her arms across her chest, her frown heavy.
You sighed, looking down to your feet. It made you feel even worse that you couldn’t help it, and you couldn’t explain it to her either, because that action had potential to get your siblings taken away.
“Drop your bag, get comfortable. You’re not training today,” she snapped.
Your heart sunk. You fought to fend off any tears from forming on your waterline as you nodded, raising your head slightly.
“Listen, (Y/N). This team is everything to me. I have lots of respect for the people who coach us and come here to be coached. You, showing up late? That shows a lack of respect for those people. You’re lazy, unorganised, irresponsible–”
Irresponsible was untrue. If anything, you were the most responsible person you’ve ever known, but Alexia didn’t know that because she didn’t care to know you.
“…I can’t expect you to represent our club and our city on big stages if you can’t even come to training on time. You aren’t FC Barcelona material, and unless things change, you never will be.”
Your lip quivered as your body aligned to bolt for the locker room as soon as she left you alone, away from the watchful eyes that surveyed you in pity when had you arrived. Alexia turned on her heel and stormed away past Mapi, whom she was talking to previously.
She left you in her wake, crestfallen and misunderstood, defeated by circumstances beyond your control.
773 notes · View notes
venomhound · 1 month ago
Text
Hazbin Hotel - Signs they Got a Crush
Tumblr media
Dumb headcanons about ways you can tell Alastor, Charlie, Angel Dust, and Lucifer have a crush. Why this super specific lineup? Because my goat brain said so.
Vees DLC now available >>HERE<<
Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; Valentino mention; nothing else just tons of fluff Actual diabetes brainrot below the cut ˋˏ���┈┈┈┈
Tumblr media
✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿
Tumblr media
Alastor ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
NOTE: Gonna out myself here. I was the anon who put >>this ask<< into @6esiree's inbox. So if you notice my wording in here sounds familiar, thats why. Both idea were wrought from the same horrid brain
I know I've said it before, but this man is an enigma. Its very hard to distinguish if he 'just friend' likes you or if he 'like likes' you. From your perspective (and most people's perspective to be honest), you'll probably think he simply views you as a close friend.
The biggest cue that Alastor's feelings towards you have changed are his eyes. His eyes don't soften or anything like that, oh no. He just starts staring at you. All the time. You could literally be standing across the room and his eyes will still be glued to you.
Alastor starts studying you. Noticing all your tics, quirks, and body movements. Its actually quite uncanny how well he is able to track you with his gaze. You sometimes feel as if the man is hunting you.
Unfortunately, other then the whole 'staring at you like Mr. Darcy thing', Alastor has no 'big' tells. They are much more subtle.
Alastor's humor around you takes a weird shift. Not one your likely to notice, but its a shift nonetheless. Alastor's jokes/quips are normally fired out like shotgun blasts, hitting everyone and anyone. No one is safe from his sardonic humor.
But once he starts taking a liking to you, you strangely become exempt from his more piercing jokes. Don't get me wrong, he still jokes around you, its just more playful in tone rather then cutting.
Alastor will also start targeting specific people you dislike, or he will start using brand of humor that gets you to laugh. People will probably brush this behavior off as simply Alastor being an asshole. But its really because he is trying to get a reaction out of you. Alastor loves your laugh and feels a weird sense of pride when he gets you giggling.
Another subtle shift that happens is Alastor gets more... musical? I'm not sure how to put it exactly. Alastor is already fond of song and dance as it is. But when he has the love bug, Alastor starts humming to himself, he has music playing all the time, and he bursts into dance more frequently. His overall energy is just up.
What throws people off with this, is that Alastor's musical energy doesn't appear to be directed at anyone is particular. So true, he may be dancing more, but the guy will dance with whoever is available for him to swing around at the time. Its not a 'will only dance with you and when your around' thing.
If Alastor's feelings for you get too strong, and/or he has been repressing them for a long time, its going to start coming out in a new... strange way. His shadows will start behaving differently.
Alastor's shadows will start acting more independent of their master and being... gentle with you. Kind. They'll smile and wave to you behind his back, help you find things if you've lost something, or even leave you weird gifts.
There was even an incident where you were half sleeping on one of the couches in the hotel parlor. You vaguely registered Alastor walk by, before you felt the cold hands of one of his shadows pull a nearby blanket over you and tuck you in.
Alastor wont even be aware of this when it starts happening. And god forbid he finds out...
SUMMERY: 🦌 Will not. Stop. Staring at you. 🦌 His humor around you changes. Becomes more playful and interested in making you laugh 🦌 His love for music presents itself more; always ends up humming, singing, or dancing 🦌 If things go on too long, his shadows will start giving away his true feelings
✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿
Tumblr media
Charlie ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
Charlie is a complete mess when she starts crushing on someone. Its not subtle, and its not pretty. You can blame her inability to handle her own emotions on her parents and their broken marriage to be honest. As a double whammy; Charlie absolutely takes after Lucifer in the Disaster Bisexual™ department. So she is already starting on the wrong foot here (buh dum tsh).
The ""Princess"" of Hell loses any sense of grace, balance, or concept of gravity. Charlie constantly has to have her eyes on you, which results in her not paying attention to where the fuck her limbs are at any given moment.
So she knocks things over while making big gestures, knocks things out of her own hands, walks into the doorframe, trips over herself, trips over nothing... you get the idea. Clutz meter is dialed up to 1000%. Please don't put her near anything fragile because it will be broken.
As is normal with crushes, you want to get to know about them, right? Well, Charlie knows, theoretically, that in order to get to know her crush and actually have a chance of something happening between them, she has to talk to them. However. Charlie is so nervous that she ends up talking their ear off instead.
Its strangely adorable. Charlie will go and seek her crush out, then just start rambling. The funniest part, is she always realizes when she does it too. Charlie will get super embarrassed and start apologizing profusely after realizing she went on the most random tangent about frogs for 5 solid minutes and didn't even let you get a word in
Silence is absolutely deafening to her. Charlie is incredibly anxious and tries so hard not to think about things too much because she will overthink it and start freaking out. So she just immediately fills any gaps in conversation with her own voice.
Also (much like Alastor), Charlie's energy goes way up when she gets a crush. She hums to herself, prances around, and sings even more then usual. The girl literally stops walking like a normal person, now opting to skip around and do little twirls.
If Charlie isnt dancing around and singing like a Disney princess, then she is drawing something. She always has a pencil in her hand (which is a WEAPON considering how much she falls over). Charlie will scribble down the most random ideas she has and illustrate them. All so she can talk to you about them in detail later.
Going back to taking after her dad; Charlie will pamper the heck out of you in the pre-dating stage. Although, inadvertently. She really wants to impress you, so she ends up going overboard instead.
You say that your hungry; Charlie grabs you by the arm and is dragging you to a 5 star restaurant. Your phone breaks; Charlie buys you a brand new one, and it already has her number in it. Heck, you could just ask her for a glass of water and Charlie would give you a entire goblet of fancy lemon water.
Charlie excuses all this under a thin veil of 'need'. Oh, you need to eat. You need a new phone to to be able to contact people. You need to drink. That's the weird logic she uses in her head of why she is getting you all this stuff. She is helping someone in need.
Of course, this neglects the full picture. You could have just eaten some chips, you didn't need steak at Hell's fanciest restaurant.
SUMMERY: 🌈 Gets two left feet. Trips and falls over herself constantly 🌈 Talks talks talks talks talkstalkstalks 🌈 Creative energy goes through the roof; sings, dances, and draws for you 🌈 Anything you need, Charlie will get you. Only its the 100x luxury version of what you needed
✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿
Tumblr media
Angel Dust ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
Hot take, but Angel Dust is just as much of an enigma as Alastor is. Unlike Alastor, however, Angel actually does something about his feelings. He just... is super confusing about it.
You know how Angel flirts with everyone? Yeah, everyone except you. For once, Angel isnt interested in sex for sex sake. No, he wants more then that. The only way he knows to try and communicate that is to... not... flirt with you.
Since flirt mode is Angel's default mode, and he rarely turns it off, he gets stiff and awkward when interacting with you. His overall tone shifts to weirdly formal. Instead of using one of his trademark nicknames or a petname, Angel just straight up uses your actual name.
Its especially jarring when there are people like Charlie or Lucifer in the room. You know, royalty. People with actual status. Angel will throw a 'heya toots' at Charlie and a 'short king' at Lucifer, then he turns to you and uses your full name. Gives everyone in the room whiplash.
Your guaranteed to feel singled out if not insulted at first. But I promise, its the spider's attempt at showing he respects you and that your different to him by going a little too overboard with it.
Angel also starts wanting to show you everything the nightlife Pentagram City has to offer. The good and bad. Angel knows all the clubs and bars like the back of his hand, so he knows exactly where to take you.
Every single night, Angel Dust makes plans for you two or just spontaneously drags you out with him. He invites you to come bar hopping with him and Cherri, he takes you out dancing to one of his favorite nightclubs, Angel even lets you know what sex clubs are good and which ones to steer the hell clear from.
Angel is very careful to keep you as far away from Valentino as he can though. Not only for your protection, but the whole situation with his work and boss is a can of worms that he would rather you not get involved in. At all.
Angel might come across as a bit neurotic because of this whole Valentino wild card thrown into the mix of things. Angel will be taking you to a club, get word that Val is there, then start speeding you to a different one across town. Or you two will have plans, then Angel will just completely drop or change them so you don't end up running into the moth.
Since Angel is taking you everywhere and lowkey showing you off to everyone, he also starts getting super invested in your appearance. Especially if your insecure or haven't really dipped your toes in the nightlife before.
Angel offers to do your makeup before you two go out and gets incredibly giddy if you accept. Angel will then doll you up, making your makeup match his, and play it off as twining.
This doesn't stay to just makeup either. Angel loves to take you out shopping and will get you both matching or themed outfits. He absolutely LOVES it, and several people have assumed you two were already dating because of how well your outfits were coordinated.
SUMMERY: 🕸️ Counterintuitively gets less flirty and stiff; awkwardly uses your actual name and not a nickname 🕸️ Takes you out on the town; just wants to go out and have fun with you 🕸️ Becomes protective of you against Valentino. Purposely makes sure your not in locations he is and just stay the hell away from him 🕸️ Coordinates/matches his outfits and makeup to yours
✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿
Tumblr media
Lucifer ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
Not subtle. At all. His crush is just a flashing neon light to everyone that even remotely knows him. However, because the subject of his affections presumably doesn't know him that well (if at all), Lucifer easily can come across as just being a goddamn weirdo. That is, if he doesn't end up making the person think he straight up dislikes them instead.
Lucifer gets so caught up in his own head that he cant actually interact with you to save his life. He is stuttering, weird noises are coming out of his mouth, some words are being hissed rather then spoken, and his brain to mouth filter is fucking busted.
So yeah. Even if you take out the fact that his mouth isnt working right; every other word in his sentences is actually wrong and he is just saying dumb shit. Complete disaster.
This results in Lucifer avoiding interacting with you. At least directly. He knows he is going to mess it up super bad so he tries to keep it to group settings so he can still be around you, but not look like a total idiot. Lucifer also does that thing where he will actually be talking to you, but doing it through a third party so he doesn't completely freak out and mess up his words.
On the off chance you two do interact alone, it always ends up with Lucifer apologizing. You will accidentally turn a corner, bump into him, and Lucifer is the one apologizing somehow. You could probably drop a cinderblock on the guy's foot and Lucifer would still be like 'I'm sorry my foot was in your way'.
Just because Lucifer cant... talk to you like a normal person doesn't mean he doesn't want your attention. Oh no. He wants all your attention.
This is where the 'Sin of Pride' really shows. If Lucifer even gets an inkling that you like something or it impresses you? He is all in on it to an absurd degree.
Oh, you said his wings were cool? Lucifer suddenly has them out all the time and keeps fluttering or stretching them to show off for you. You like men who can sing? Now Lucifer is gonna find any excuse to do a musical number in your presence. You start laughing at one of his jokes? Whelp. Clown man is now gonna turn into an entire clown show. You think he tells good stories? Get ready for Lucifer to start blabbing about his entire life story.
Unfortunately this happens with anything negative you might say as well. Lucifer takes it way too hard and either tries to prove you wrong, or takes whatever it is you said you don't like and throws it out a window.
You said bowties were silly? Lucifer suddenly shows up wearing an ascot. You made a comment that his cane is just a glorified apple on a stick? Whelp, its in a trashcan now and Lucifer is designing a much fancier one. You don't think Lucifer can hold his liquor? Now he is challenging Alastor to a drinking contest and getting absolutely trashed.
Look. This guy just really wants you to like him okay? Please love him. He is a disaster, but he can be your disaster.
SUMMERY: 🐤 Forgets how to form words or how human language even works 🐤 Can't handle interacting with you directly; so he uses a third party or group events 🐤 Apologizes. Alot. 🐤 CONSTANTLY trying to impress you, or at least, get your eyes on him. Embodiment of peacocking 🐤 Takes any negative comments to heart and goes out of his way to show how wrong they are
✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿
FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧
If you want a super cute fic about Lucifer courting the reader with his wings, check out >>this post<< by @nicoliine
If you want to see a really good post on what attracts Alastor and Lucifer to someone, check out >>this post<< by @liliannadelaphinehartifelt
Then lastly, one of my favorite fics actually, check out the Unknown to Me and You series by @beejunos for an amazing take on Alastor's feelings coming out through his shadows. First part is >>here<< and second part is >>here<<
373 notes · View notes
zzencat · 6 months ago
Text
Their Sexual Tendencies + Traits? (NSFW) - Timeless ⏳
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Simply choose from left to right.
(Minors DNI) Nice and simple. What would happen if you got involved? Their tendencies in bed? Intimate behavior? Maybe it’s the one you’ve been ignoring. How about the one you’re with? A future partner? What goes on in their head at night when you’re all they can think about? And if more unfolds? Very TMI. Includes sexual, graphic descriptions and toxic traits.
Must do before you choose: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You may now begin.
—————————-
Pile 1. “I was a bad girl. I did some bad things.” - Jojo Siwa (lmfaooo)
•right of the bat, “karma” from Jojo siwa played
•I get brat vibes from this pile…are you a brat? lmfao cuz your person’s gonna like that for sure
•or maybe you try to hard to be a brat or appear/act like one? Your person loves it regardless
•this person loves dominating, but they can get just as enthusiastic as a sub. The instant switch and role change is actually pretty impressive, since they do it effortlessly
• I get the vibe they do or will do most of the topping work tho. They can have their lazy days, sure, but they like moving
•dare I say this person is the kinkiest out of the three piles
•^^ we’re talking bondage, role play, slapping(? Damn), everything and all over the above—receiving or giving, they can do it all. Fast raw sex and quickies are hot to them esp
• if you’re poly, this person is okay with that. If you’re not, they’re also okay. they just wanna have sex, end of story 🧌
• is down to literally do it anywhere and everywhere
• if this relationship started off as some kind of fwb or anything with benefits, I wouldn’t be surprised
• if you guys are both in a committed relationship, make sure you try to match their energy in bringing new things to the bedroom
• these people are shower masturbators—the sex drive is actually crazy like- slow your horse for just a second damn
•^^ they don’t even have time to masturbate if you’re with each other all the time. I got the image of a couple going on a trip and they’re in a hotel…yk what comes next. If you live together, cue some jungkook music. There’s no makin it out
• if you’re not together due to long distance stuff, a lot of cam/phone sex. It happens so much that you think they’re jobless (and they could be tbh. Tell em to get a job!!!)
• this person gives me the vibe that they’re not really in an occupation that demands much. It feels like a very lax, low demand and energy job OR they’re a model for something and they make money through content like that
• this person is reallllly good looking tho. It’s how they can get away with a lot of things
• their maturity level is kinda questionable I wont lie…I think you need to teach them some boundaries
• they could take a while to see their faults? Maybe they don’t wanna see or they’re too oooh la la in the sky
• can come off as quite careless. Can even be clingy
• also very prone to peer pressure or self-sabotaging behavior
•avoids conflict like the plague
• open to all body types as long as your face is cute. I think they likely prefer people who don’t look like they’re freaks in the sheets ykwim? The duality is prob what gets em going. But then again, I think anything gets them going. This person is a true horndog of nature
• (I, personally, as Teddy, the reader, feel like I should include why they’re like this—craving physical intimacy so much, but there’s this brushing off/dismissive energy like “forget it they don’t need to know- let’s just have fun and shiii”)
•^^ (if I rephrase what I wanted to include, it might be better. They prob grew up with a lot of siblings/other kids, and not enough love to go around, so they were overlooked, OR no-to-low amount of siblings but not enough physical and emotional intimacy and connection from parents/guardians, so they looked towards external sources.)
• doesn’t have too many expectations tbh (idk if that’s a bad or a good thing, but the root of it is that they don’t wanna pressure people to stay with them or force people into commitment)
• ^^if they fall in love with you and yall date, and you leave one day, it’ll hurt so much that they’ll revert back to the thinking of why commitment didn’t always work for them
•childhood couldn’t show them what true commitment was so if you actually express that you want to be with them exclusively, they’ll be so shocked, to say the least. Like “me? Why me? I’m not anything special, lmfao” . They’re laughing it off and will feel nervous so they’ll cover it up by drinking smth (water or anything), but they’re so used to the sentiment of being “nothing special” that they’re numb to it
• ^^ but if they end up falling in love with you (beware of their nonstop horse sex drive), they’ll be a lot more reserved and laid back than before
• they’ll prob be lazier tho ngl. They’ll take days off work just to have sex with you all day
• they make up for this uselessness feeling through sexual activities
• they think like “why touch yourself alone when I’m right here?”
• when they do masturbate tho, they think about you and your body shifting back and forth against the bed. They’re pretty quick tho when it comes to masturbation—I’m guessing bc of impatience and not being able to hold back. They only last long when it comes to sex with a partner
• the body worship is real nice
• most of the sexual activities have one thing in common though, and that’s the closeness of both of your skins. This person kisses your skin so much during sex, and really anytime, feel you up whenever they can. The touchiness is all the time and it’s sweet, but it can always lead to something else
• in this pile, lies a very rare breed. a handful, and really not a lot, will encounter the rare breed partner that also has this high of a sex drive, is confident, has a regular day job, prob tall and slim, is responsible and committed only to you, and will be on board 100% if you ever want to engage in exhibitionist/voyeur activities—extreme (like streaming your intimate moments or camming together)
——————————————————-
Pile 2. *Growling noises.*
• the thing is…you’re just existing 😭
• you don’t do much to piss this person off (most of the time). Some light jokes and messing around here and there but you’re pretty much chillin. (ESPECIALLY when you’re not dating, this bullet point and the previous be the vibe.)
• this person wants you like a predator wants prey, basically. It feels weird to say it ngl, but it’s a very obviously fire energy? Like Leo smth…or a very capable and sadistic Scorpio? They have this dark and mysterious look. Very intimidating, but you prob don’t give this person your time of day—either you don’t care, think it’s weird, or maybe you’re just playing a little hard to get
•^^whatever this person thinks you’re doing, purposely or not, they find it intriguing and you have to be theirs
• this person tho? pile 1 has nothing on this person. My bad, not person—beast.
• very dominant person and very much shows it if you’re exclusively dating each other or in a higher relationship
• they could use some work on their control issues tho. IMPORTANT!!!: this person would NEVER put their hands on you to hurt you out of anger or violent means. No abuse in their household, no, no. (In bed, it’s different but only if you consent)
•^^ regarding the control issues, make sure they’re not obsessed with you bc you’re hard to control. At your highest energy, this pile has a very independent, do-what-I-want energy. You don’t give two shits abt what others think- you dress, look, and act the way you want. You stand up to them when no one has the balls to do it
• very much BDSM. It could get a little tiring—not the person!! The person has hella games and tricks up their sleeve when it comes to bdsm and freaky shit. Tiring in the sense that it just stays in the BDSM realm like dude…break out of it cmon. It’s time to experiment with different menus, not recipes.
• commander type. also choking. this person likes choking. Choking you AND being choked, but they wouldn’t bring up the latter if you never mention it.
• has a LOT of self control…until they don’t. But I think this person loses it very easily bc of their partner—like you needa be punished asap type feel.
• getting off is normal for them, but when they have a partner, most of the time they save it until sex. but if not and you’re not around, they’re gonna go at it, thinking how you should be there, imagining how good you look with your mouth on their parts while you look up at them, praising you about how good you’re doing.
• this person isn’t really simple with masturbation either. If they simply lay down and or sit on their bed and touch themselves, it wouldn’t be as satisfying so they have to go again, preferably touching themselves in a different place—depends on what mood they’re in, they’ll choose a risky, likely-to-get-caught kinda place or a place outside their room, but private.
• wow, verrrry possessive person. Marking you up 😫 In the morning, if you need to go somewhere, they’ll be like “Don’t try to cover it up.”
• This person could be some sort of player? Regardless of who they are, they just have a lot of pent up energy they need to get out of. They def have experience
•honestly, pile 2, this person can get really damn intense. If you can’t handle their heat, it’s okay to get outta the kitchen cuz they’re the ones turning it up and have also broken the ac 😭 the sex is crazy good, but it will take this person a bit of time to actually fall in love with you. Cuz you’re so different from everyone they’ve seen so they’re unsure…weirded out…interested.
• if you somehow get in bed with this person, you’re in for a ride (literally.) after this experience, this person will deadass replay it everywhere, every day, all the time. It becomes an obsession with them (which may or may not be a good thing for you.)
• this person is going to be in your life for a whiiiiile. You might even roll your eyes and be like “whyyy”
• this is the most obvious enemies to lovers trope pile, but it starts smth like that OR you just get annoyed that everyone wants this person and to you, they’re just hot and nothing much.
• it gets wilder— this person WILL try to make you jealous. Shamelessly. (Ick)
• they’d like to receive some mouth-work from you if ya get my vibe. (Which is unfair bc they’re kinda selfish when it comes to receiving pleasure.) if they give it, they give it THEIR way
• ^ you have to put them in their place and show them you’re not someone to be fucked with. The worst thing you could do is leave their life entirely. Even pissing you off gives them something.
• if you’re sick of their shit, they might even let you have a chance of taking it out on them and having your way for once (BUT just so you know, if you do, they’ll take it as you surrendering to them. Like you finally have a weakness or manipulation point.)
• HOWEVER, this person, although very fucking stubborn, is willing to make any and all changes for you. IT WILL TAKE TIME. And only if you’re in love with each other. Maybe they were trying to find someone that was worth their time and more than just looks.
• I will say tho, if you get into an actual committed relationship with this person, the upbringing of this relationship looks pretty toxic. Like the crazy need for control and the unwarranted possessiveness (on their side), especially at points when you’re not dating each other. If you don’t set their shit straight, you’ll fall into the trap and could get a broken heart out of it
• ^^ on the bright side, this encounter/relationship with them will bring you so much personal growth. If you make it out of this relationship in one piece, you’re actually indestructible. And if they’re really willing to change—I suggest noting down their BIG, grandiose sacrifices for you that puts them at some risk—then there’s also a big chance you could have a harmonious and balanced connection
• ^^ why? Bc they know that you’re not superficial and you have substance to you, and they want that. Be wary tho, this person isn’t stupid and knows what strings to pull
• this person could have a tan tint to their skin or brown hair
————————————————————
Pile 3. “Please let me in...”
• this pile’s energy seems a little closed off. not from your person but from you. I’m feeling indifference, constant wariness, but regardless, there’s always a wall
• you’re prob an introvert and has gotten hurt in the past really, REALLY badly, so you’ve been closing your heart off. There’s a piece of you that still wants to find love, hence your presence here, but you act like you don’t or you don’t show that you are interested in wanting it.
• if you’re an extrovert, however? You may not be TOO keen on sharing things about your life. Open to it, sure…but still somewhat selective
• you would sacrifice everything for the person you love, not that you would willingly admit this verbally. If you have, good for you!! You’re the muse baby
• your person is more likely an extrovert and has tried or IS planning to try to get closer to you/get to know you more. They KNOW you are more than what you show on the surface. They’re the only ones who can see the gems behind the rockiness you show
• they’re a virgin or inexperienced
•^^ I don’t think most of the people who chose this pile mind too much, honestly. There’s a bit of a corruption kink rearing its head in here…not super apparent but it be lurkin in da shadows
• oh they’re a switch hahaha. You can just push em on the bed and they’ll let you do whatever you want to them. They’re not complaining at all tho—just lock in on your target and DESTROYYYY 😈😈
• almost a puppy like energy to them—ALMOST. Almost. Bc they have leader vibes but a nice leader. Maybe not respectable by all…but most. Like one who seeks the best for the team but bc they’re not “alpha” or aggressive enough, it can be tough to get people to take things seriously. But eventually people do. Maybe even out of pity.
• I get the feeling this person had to be very in tune with their parents’/guardians’ feelings (I’m getting anxiety or just freaking out over messes and stuff) — maybe they’ve also grown with grandparents? Or have had the presence of their grandparents be very significant in their lives?
•^ bc of this they will most likely be vanilla in bed. I don’t even think they’ll lust after you for a while man I mean, outta respect yk? And also bc it doesn’t feel right to them. It’s not the first thing or one of the first things that come into their mind when they think about you
• ^^ you basically have to tell them what to do, what they can and cannot do too. They’ve had to be so involved in taking care of everybody with an undying kindness to them that they don’t really know where boundaries begin. They’d never wanna break your boundaries
• ok this does not mean that your person is a nice white male, btw!! I keep seeing a salesman, wearing a baby blue button up and khakis, brown hair…this person seems so average? — this could mean that they’re doing everything they can to make others happy and totally not paying attention to their own. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this person cry in public, but if you make them cry in bed? Hey, go for it muahahah
• it will prob take a while to get them to be comfortable with thinking about you sexually. If they have to relieve themselves, they try to channel this energy into workouts or something physical that gets their mind off of you in that way. Inevitably, the idea of you in bed will pop up, but they’ll shake it off. It’s not even holding back—they just don’t wanna “disrespect” you and see you as an object (but like I said, if you want them to treat you like one in bed or smth, you have to let them know and say it with a lot of conviction. This person is very mentally bullheaded so it’s hard to break into them like that)
•I think they let a lot of things happen bc they’re that empathetic, or they just don’t have the energy for the chase. Like think little kid stealing from a shop, they’ll prob be like “hey kid- ah…” *sighs and scratches back of head as they watch the kid run away with said items*
• if you’re not interested in this person or blatantly ignoring them, they’ll really try to get you (but in a nonstalker-ish way) which is good!! They just want your attention really. They’re pretty much awestruck by you, ESPECIALLY if you ever go to an event and they see you all cleaned up and dressed, they’ll check you out and zone out mid convo I swear. You actually render them speechless.
• (now…we get to some of the graphics.) This person is not a serial masturbator, I will say. Once a day, max. If you’ll allow them, they would do more. They could honestly go all day if you made them. If this person works in an office and you make them soooooo desperate, they would hide somewhere, perhaps an empty room and just start finding heaven. Very quickly too. Quickly and (trying to be) quiet. They’re pretty on top of things and responsible, but if you just tell em what to do, it will be done. They even clean after their mess too (if they do it in public? Cleaning up fast due to freaking out). Like “oh god, what have I done…” They’re super fucking clumsy too and don’t have too good of a recovery in public tho. For example, if they run into someone they know, RIGHT after coming out of the restroom? Red, hot face, sweat all over their neck. Stuttering and shit when they try to say hi to the said acquaintance. When they touch themselves, they don’t use toys (which is very sad. You gotta spice up their lives. They’re open to it. If you’re not the one with spice, they’re also okay with it. And if you’re both okay with vanilla sex every time, feel free!) This person just uses their hands, but LIES DOWN. They like to relax, face the ceiling, close their eyes, and think slow vanilla things…
•might be tmi, but when they touch themselves, it’s kind of inhibited…and not as fast as people do when they’re abt to cross the finish line, yk? Like either long edging sessions or never letting themselves climax sometimes, or rubbing/pressing very hard and still but not fast(?) when they cum…if you know what I mean? Idk if they’re doing it on purpose or if they’re not too experienced, or if they think they don’t deserve it? Scared maybe?
•no kidding, you could actually do anything to this person. cnc/dubious consent would be hot for them—though, they prob wouldn’t know what the kink is called lolll (you have to make sure tho. Establish boundaries and a safe word) bc they wanna be like “nooooo, don’t do that~~” while you’re all over them. BEFORE or IF you guys ever step into that stage tho, they’ll think about simple things if you do allow them to think about you sexually. Like you on top of them, slow grinding, soft touches, helping them out, mutual masturbation. there’s a little part that is innocent and doesn’t know how to step out of that or where to start when it comes to the more kinky stuff.
• it’s funny bc even tho this person has had a lot of experience outside, within a team or jobs, or clubs, etc., they’re so…malleable?? LMFAO 😂 crazy ass word to use but YES. you can throw them around like a damn doll and have them do this and that. A bit of hesitancy, but they know their main purpose in life is to serve :)
• but like I said, they’re a switch, so not only can they think abt you taking control (softdom energy), but if they think abt being on top, they think about slow, loving sex yk? Like slow grinding- oooh, yeah. that really gets them. They’re the type to milk themselves till the last drop too btw. Til. The. Last. Drop.
• also, most of the partners are not a loud moaner. They’re quiet, likely bc they’ve had to force themselves to be quiet in the household they’ve grown in. If your person is a loud moaner, they’ve grown unashamed of their sexual needs and have developed a healthy relationship with that aspect. If you’re with a person who’s like this and moans loud, congratulations!! They have become comfortable in their skin and you have made it so 🙂‍↕️👏👏 If they’re still quiet, def some insecurity bc of growing up with limiting beliefs or having to live with a lot of people in childhood. If you want them loud, you have to encourage it out of them. They’ll be pretty fuckin shy about it though. You realllly have to pull it out of them.
• bonus: if they’re loud, they’re a slut 😂😂 like a secret slut, yk? (this might be a bit darker so don’t read if you don’t want to—this really only applies to a small portion of people here—but chances are they get off…on being ashamed and self-degradation? A big example is being ashamed for engaging in sex/sexual activities? Like a masochist, “this is so dirty, I shouldn’t be doing this…” but proceeds to do it anyway bc they can’t help themselves?? And they likely degrade themselves while getting off. These people may secretly be content creators for this type of thing but appear angelic in real life OR they have potential to. Like them faceless whimper creators lmfaoo. Listen, hey…if you get with one of these people, you a winner winner chicken dinner
•there’s a big chance most people in this pile or the pile’s person feels ashamed or very guilty about the whole sex thing and masturbation; if you’re looking to improve your relationship with sex or relationship with this person, you have to help each other overcome this fear. It doesn’t matter who asserts themselves to the task. It requires the both of you at the end of the day. And boyyy is it gonna be hard- (…anxiety makes it hard for you to get aroused/stay aroused/reach orgasm tho 😮‍💨 the more you know…). No man, it’s gonna be so awkward—palms-sweatingly awkward. Breaking news, you might have to be the assertive one here. Your impatience could get the best of you and in that case, you’ll guide them. There are so many things that could go wrong in this situation of awkward pre-sex, but if this person has shown their worth to you and you actually trust them, a lot of it is salvageable by your own hand.
• however, if this situation goes south (and not the south we want…) then, this person will start to feel bad or insecure that they’ve hurt or done something wrong towards you, even though they’re a clumsy dummy who doesn’t intend to hurt people and tries hard to do everything right
• ^^ should you ever try to initiate it and try to sex em up again, you’d have to put a bit of work in to convince them, bc they were really open that one time and it was honestly…kinda the first time they’ve gotten so close to doing something THAT vulnerable and revealing. It would feel like they stripped and you didn’t like what you saw, and it was so apparent on your face that it broke them. That kind of vibe. A very sensitive person at heart.
• they get really anxious if something goes wrong. It’s probably a trait they picked up from parents/guardians being like that.
• they have SOOO much potential, seriously. But a lot of what-ifs on their mind so they’re playing it safe. Be confident, and maybe even borderline bossy, with them and gradually they’ll open out of their shell. This person is like hot liquid gold, waiting to be molded into your likings 😇
———————————
**Teddy Note: Hi guys!! This is a super long post, but I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. My sexual tarot deck just came in and I’m pretty much obsessed with it already hahaha. Thank you for reading today’s post!! If you haven’t heard, I’d just opened up paid readings, and there is a sexual reading in there that is pretty much like this one, but more individualized towards you and pretty detailed (if you do decide to purchase, that is.) That’s all I gotta say. It’s been pretty intense doing these readings and the partners in these piles are all wildin in their own way 😅 Thank you again! Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! Peace outtt :))
433 notes · View notes
feistyvirghoe · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆⋆·˚ ༘ * pick a card disclaimers ೃ🤍⁀➷
pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!
these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3
these are extremely general timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ- major changes regarding your interpersonal relationships, how you guys interact with people and letting yourself experience new friendships, romantic relationships. I feel like your message here is to let go of what has been holding you down for so long. This energy of not wanting to see the good after you’ve been betrayed. Brighter days are ahead. It’s like the universe wanting you to see your real potential. They want you to see that you are capable of living a joyous life. You’re capable of being happy without feeling guilty or ashamed of yourself. You’re not the only one struggling mentally or in any other way. I feel like your guys are nervous to experience new things again because there’s this feeling of you being like “will this even last?” “Will this eventually be taken away from me like everything else?” I feel like you guys may need to move yourselves out of this period of thinking the same things will always happen. It wont! Especially when we believe and change our mindset surrounding this topic. You guys are being led into a newer direction. Somewhere where you feel you belong. Forming new relationships that’s re healthy and authentic with likeminded people who understand you. Things don’t have to happen so quickly so it’s always good to remember not to push yourself to fit into a mold you know will never work. This major change will lead you to your true calling/purpose, where you will be seen by the right people for you, it really is all for you. But i know we can get stuck in this negative loop or tormenting emotions that confuse us about ourselves. I’d say, what I’m seeing happening for you next is you feeling more hopeful about this new opportunity or just this general change you’re making or should be making for yourself. I also feel like you may be getting into a new partnership with someone. This person seems like they may bring a lot of positive encouragement and helpful advice to broaden your perspective. I feel like you’re going to be celebrating yourself and what you know deep down you were always capable of. You just need to see this fr yourself. That you’re an amazing, strong, independent person that achieve their goals on their own. We don’t really need people, but it’s not good to isolate yourself and hide because of your fears that are hindering you from moving on. I feel like you guys are also being shown that you can put your trust into certain individuals that respect you and wont betray you for their own benefit.] ❞
Affirmation - solar crown → i am decisive and wise. When action is required, i move swiftly with courage. When wisdom is necessary i step carefully with grace. I trust my intuitive wisdom to decide correctly.
Tumblr media
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ-keep on going pile 2! If someone here is feeling like giving up, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT! You seem to be so close to something. It seems like you guys have been working your asses off, to achieve a certain goal, or idea, it’s something that you can’t take your mind off of. The energy is so fast paced, like i just want to get into it, you all seem to be moving in the right direction. Using all the power you have within you to get to this thing of yours. I feel like it may have to do with work of some sort, it doesn’t have to be so extreme, but you’ve been putting in action or you need to put in that action. You have this spirit of persistence and not giving up on this decision. I feel like you guys know where you want to be. But it’s the moving, a lot of passionate energy here, man I don’t even think that this is something you can take your mind off. You’re just aware of what is needed, you shouldn’t hide what power you hold. There’s something about you guys being more in that masculine role, moving towards your purpose, which i feel is the theme of this entire reading, doing what you love to do without feeling ashamed of it. Yes this will take some of your time and have you very busy, but i think you moving and not staying in a stagnant place pumps up your energy. It could even be with building your strength within and outside of you. Taking better care of yourself, knowing your own limits and not falling off because of one setback. I feel like you guys are being shown that it’s okay to show off your talents and gifts. This light within you that you should never really repress, but don’t burn yourself playing with the flames. I feel like you guys really need to keep going, it’s just something about the messages coming out for you that are screaming at me to tell you to keep on moving forward. Leaving the unhinged shit in the past.
“I can heal now and always.” Another message that I’m getting is not pushing yourself to the point of burnout. That’s when it gets tricky, because you put your all into something all at once and then get weird results where you feel not good enough. But you are, you’re enough right now. No, you do not need to be where that other person is, i know working and working will tear you apart. You guys should give yourself a break from time to time to re-collect and realize that your healing journey will never look like or be anyone else’s but yours. It’s time to fight off these distractions and quiet that overthinking mind of yours. You can work and play as well. Don’t take everything so personally, know when it’s you and take yourself out of the equation. I feel like this full moon is helping you to own your full potential and understand that you are also in control of your life. Don’t leave everything up to chance and own your shush! You are an amazing powerful being and i want you to understand this deep down even if you feel different, you are fricking powerful, a goddamn badass! ] ❞
Affirmations - clairvoyant author → i am the author of my story, i am the author of my own narrative. I write the future in myself. I re-script negative self-criticism, and i narrate positive thoughts.
Tumblr media
╰┈➤ ❝ [.ೃ࿐🀥 ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ- Right off the bat y’all, i truly feel like there is some sort of competitive, petty, jealous energy that is being projected your way. Either you already know this or you don’t to the fullest extent. But you guys seem so guarded and indifferent to this shit. I’m not sure if it’s one or multiple people projecting this towards you, but you don’t seem to be buying something or someone’s BS! Whatever this is, it’s extremely unhealthy, the energy is wonky and that’s probably how you feel. But this i feel has to do with some sort of relationship. I feel like you don’t want what this person has to offer, or there is an offer but you seem to be skeptical of it. Why do i feel like you’re being pulled in so many different directions, it’s like hard to make a choice. This confusion. I really hope you’re not with someone who’s trying to control you or even manipulate you into something you know is damaging for you. I feel like someone/something can’t let you go, there’s this energy trying to cling onto you. It feels like someone wants to block you from seeing your true potential. Because you are talented at something, you got the tools for whatever this may be, like you’re so fucking close. A chapter has ended, you have to decide if you want to walk away or keep repeating it with other people, but i feel like you already know that you should be taking things more smoothly. You can’t get up and go back playing kickball right after you sprain your ankle. It’s alright for you to rest and look after yourself. I feel like you guys need to let that wall down a little bit and remember the why, the why that made you get up and go after what you want every day even if its small steps. Small steps to creating a better social circle. Finding the right communities for you, engaging with people who get it. You don’t have to force anything or be anything to anyone but your most authentic self and i know we hear it all the time but it’s so true. It’s better to walk around knowing who you are instead of pretending to fit in. You don’t have to mold yourself. I feel like you guys should do some inner self-reflection and talk with yourself, journal, rage draw, whatever you need to do. Even crying, things are pretty intense. But I don’t want you guys to go around letting someone else try to influence you and tell you what to do, its reminding me of a Bret man rock video he was saying something along the line of “don’t tell me what to do BITCH!” lmao. But for real, don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do with your damn life. It’s like they want you confused about who you are as a person. People seriously need to contain this obsessive jealousy and just mind their damn business. I feel like you guys need to be more kinder to yourself and show more compassion towards you! You’re very abundant and have a lot headed your way, i just don’t wanna see you giving up, fuck what people say about you! What gives them the right to try and tell you about yourself, unless you really need the reality check but I don’t think so. I feel like people really want to try this group. Don’t let em, nuh uh uh uh. You’re self sufficient on your own nd you didn’t really need me to tell you that, but i see it. You can take care of your damn self. Fuck the projections and let yourself live. Even if shits not so great, LIVE! Try to put a smile on that face everyday, but also feel your emotions and acknowledge it. I feel like you guys may not feel the love but you are so so loved, pease remember that, and I’ll tell u, i love you! Mwah! ] ❞
Affirmations -
Embrace divinity → i am a loved child of divinity. Reality is a love story written for me. I sit silently and experience the loving embrace from my eternal mother. I store up the words of affirmation of my ageless father. The tender words that spoke my consciousness into existence to become me.
Observatory of the mind → i have a happy heart. Today will be full of joyful moments waiting for me to discover. My gratitude overflows from my inner self to those around me.
Empowering friendships → i select my relationships carefully and invest in them fully. I am the average of the people i spend my time with.
Tumblr media
hiiii, hope everyone’s doing well, i know i know, im back lmao, and i didn’t forget about the other PAC, i just wanted to do this first. hope this helps w anything you’ve been going back and forth w, or any kooky energy that you’ve been wondering about, stay safe and don’t let anyone walk all over you! <333
266 notes · View notes
catsukkii · 9 days ago
Note
whoever requested older brother is GOATED im obsessed i #needhim plz make a new part 💔
well ur in luck! (sorry this is sooo late chat.)
— Off-limits, Right? ft. katsuki bakugo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
IN WHICH...just when you thought things couldnt get any weirder with katsuki, he just has to come into your life again. you find yourself even enjoying your time with him, there was no way you were catching feelings for him, right? you hated him! yet suddenly you get a text the next morning.
comments, likes & reblogs mean the world to me! 18+ — minors DNI.
CONTENT CONTAINS; semi-suggestive, swearing, princess used in a mocking way (or not?), katsukis prolly ooc, kinda corny.
WORD COUNT; 1.7k / a/n; read part one or this wont rlly make sense! I hope I met everybodys standards...
song rec; 'friends' chase atlantic
— all rights reserved © CATSUKKII 2024-2025. all fanfics & layouts belong to me. do not copy, translate, repost on tiktok or any other platform of the works seen here.
Tumblr media
ever since that night you’ve avoided katsuki like the plague, embarrassed and quite frankly confused about everything that happened, how would this change your guys relationship, what would you do if your brother found out? you were sure he’d kill you and katsuki.
whenever he’d come over you’d go back to hiding in your room as if nothing had happened, katsuki absolutely hated this. anytime he’d yell through the door, or find you in the kitchen you would just ignore him, none of your stupid comments or bickering, just, silence.
“katsuki’s coming over.” your brother speaks from the dining table, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. “alright.” you reply kicking your legs off the coffee table, grabbing your phone and tucking it into your back pocket.
“wait.” he speaks, you sigh and turn around crossing your arms. “yes?” you say with sass dripping in your tone. “what happened with you and katsuki? because last time he had to babysit-” you cut him off quickly, “forcefully hang out.”
he rolls his eyes but plays along nonetheless. “forcefully hung out…you seemed to get along, you even hugged!” he exclaimed, you attempted to hide the grimace on your face at the reminder of that, and the stupid look on his face as he whispered ‘call me’.
“people change.” you speak and rush from the conversation, jogging up the stairs quickly as your brother stares and furrows his brows at you, but he ignores it. you and katsukis relationship had always been confusing to say the least.
-
”hey, sleeping beauty.” a knock at your door as katsuki's voice can be heard on the other side, you ignored him as always and continued reading your book peacefully. but he was being persistent this time.
“whats with the silent treatment princess?” another knock you ignore.
the door slowly opens. what the fuck? hes never opened the door?
“what the fuck? katsuki—go!” you leap off the bed throwing your book, caring less about your place in the novel at the moment. you rush to the door and weakly attempt to push him out, yet he barely budged from his large build.
“jeez, you hiding pornos in here or something?” he smirks at you coyly, partially over your weak attempts to push him and also the way you groan when he makes a sassy remark for the millionth time. ”you’re so annoying! why did you even come in here!” you whine and stop your honestly sad attempts at pushing him out of your room.
“Just me and you again, probably for an hour or two.” you lean your head forward and furrow your brows with a nasty scowl on your face.
“so get the fuck out my room and watch tv or something.” he puts his hands up in fake defense and bites his lip while that dumb smirk never leaves his face. “why so aggressive princess?” he slowly takes a step forward which causes you to step back.
“i thought we got over this little dispute after that movie, hm?” another step. “y’know, the one where you sat on my lap..” another step. he was taunting you. “we kissed.” his voice was low and deep, almost a whisper.
“you were practically grinding on me.” another step, you feel your back hit the wall as he corners you, you cant deny the blush creeping on to your cheeks.
“shut up katsuki…” you try to sound intimidating, yet it comes out more of a mumble. his muscled arms cage you in, you cant help but shy away from his gaze, you just wanted to melt into a puddle and die on spot.
he laughs menacingly at you, looking down with a dark glint in his eyes. “awe poor thing,” he faux pouts at you.
“quit avoiding me, princess.” he annunciates every word, leaning in closer, your noses practically touching. you can feel his hot breath against yours, your breathing is getting heavier at the tension.
“I’m not avoiding you.” you bite back, he only smirks wider; he loved that you could put up a fight. “I just dont like you.” he fake gasps at your words, removes his arms from their place on the wall near your head, crossing them over his chest.
“you love me.” he teases, you push him away to the best of your abilities. the tension, the teasing, the closeness of his hot breath against yours; it was slowly becoming to much.
“what do you want from me katsuki.” your tone is gruff, he hated and loved it, he loved that you would give him a challenge and put up a fight, but he also hated that you wouldnt just give in, the one time you did it got interrupted.
“cmon girl,” he starts with a sigh, “you know you want this just as bad as i do.” he steps closer and places his arms around your waist, you shy away from his gaze, yet you didnt move his arms.
“I dont know what you’re talking about.” you wiggle away from his grasp and pick your book up. “goddamnit— see you made me lose my place.” you mumble as you flip through the pages. he rolls his eyes at your nerdy behavior.
“alright nerd whatever..” he grumbles at you. “cmon lets watch a movie or something I’m bored as hell.” how could he be talking so casually after all this? you scoff as you continue flipping through the papers.
“that sucks.” he practically growls at you in frustration. “cmon I’ll do like, anything at this point.”
your face immediately lights up at his words, much to his dismay. he groans already regretting his decision in this.
-
“katsuki— stay still.” you swipe your makeup brush with blush all over it across his cheeks, katsuki was layed on your bed with a cute little bunny headband pushing his messy hair out of the way, with enough pushing and shoving you convinced him to let you do his makeup.
“this shit tickles.” you grab his chin and force him to look at you, but you quickly regretted your decision when he looked up at you with those lazy low lidded eyes. you gulped and continued your work glamorizing him.
“well beauty is pain.” you move on and continue your work dragging various products and brushes over his rough skin. “your skin is so rough..but oddly clear..do you do skincare?” he furrows his brows and his lips turn into a scowl as he gives you a mean side eye.
“no I dont do fucking skincare.” you cant help but giggle at his defensive nature over something so tiny such as skincare.
“jeez i was just asking! It’s nice, i wish my skin was clear like yours.” he snickers at your giggle aswell, but goes back to looking confused once you compare yourself to him.
“shut up, I like your skin.” you tsk at this and sarcastically breathe out a ‘yeah okay.’
“I’ll beat your ass, shut up.” you laugh at him and continue your finishing touches, you apply a sticky lipgloss to his lips and tell him to rub them together. you reach for the handheld mirror near you and show him his new face beautified.
“how do I take this shit off.” you gasp as he examines himself in the tiny mirror, “relax ill take it off with a makeup wipe…right after I get a photo of this.” you quickly reach for your phone as his eyes widen and he lunges at you, you’re cackling at this while trying to get out of his grasp as you both struggle for the phone, he cant help the laughs that escape his own lips.
he ends up giving up, even though he could easily overpower you. you take stupid 0.5 photos of him as he side eyes the phone, you’re belly laughing through all of this, a smile creeps on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it. he only tolerates your dumb photos for a few minutes before slapping your phone and tackling you onto the bed.
“what the fuck— katsuki!” you squeal as he squeezes you with his large arms. “get this shit off me.” he muffles into your shoulder, biting the skin as you push him off you.
the rest of the night ended with giggles and stupid shenanigans and you hate to say it but you were seriously having fun. eventually, the fun came to an end as the front door creaks open, you and katsuki both walking down the stairs with a wide smile on your faces.
“see, I knew you two could get along!” your brother exclaims throwing his arms up in cheer, you and katsuki both roll your eyes at him and continue walking down the stairs.
“only cause he let me do his makeup.” katsuki spins around and glares at you, he quickly faces your brother and attempts to explain but your brother is already dying of laughter.
“listen its not like— okay, you can stop laughing— ALRIGHT.” your brother is doubled over laughing just at purely imagining that you somehow convinced katsuki to let you put your pretty glitters and products all on his face.
“I have to show you the photos!” you giggle with him striding down the stairs past katsuki. katsuki sighs but a snicker still falls from his lips, he walks down the stairs and greets your parents as they rant and rave about how ‘nice he is’.
you could care less in the moment though, as you had pulled your phone out to show your brother the stupid photos you got. although, eventually the laughter and chatter died down and katsuki was going home.
he bid everybody goodbye, hugging your parents and dabbing your brother up. stupid men. he spun around to you nonetheless and opened his arms, dragging your feet you let him wrap his beefy arms around you, practically squishing your head.
“I had fun.” you murmured into his chest, he hummed in agreement and let you go, not wanting to come off suspicious infront of your parents, but even more so to your brother.
he left, and you went back to your cave as always. you were lazily laying on your bed scrolling through stupid apps on your phone, you peacefully fell asleep with a smile on your face remembering the successful day.
the sun rose and shined through your window in the early morning, you yawned and lazily reached for ur phone as you rub the crust out of ur eyes.
ding!
oh?
katsuki texted you?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
…well now what do u do?
Tumblr media
a/n; ahaaa… (might start doing smaus and it totally doesn’t have anything to do with @/poemeater😁) also if I make a pt 3 do u whores want smut or js more fluff and dating
tags; @mollyrocks420 @aquasorb
231 notes · View notes
snekdood · 7 months ago
Text
ppl who larp about the Revolution™ almost seem to expect someone *else* to take the leading role in it all so they can sit inside on their asses and do jack shit, they know they have no meaningful skills to offer and would only slow people down, but expect to *somehow* magically radicalize most americans into doing all the work for them because awww dey're just such a weak wittle babu that needs to be pwotected and defwended awlways uwu
like. come on. get a grip. if everything went your way and someone actually stronger than you came along to take the lead, you're likely not being invited, and you'll likely be left behind... which means left to the alt right, who will no doubt come to your house to see if you're perpetuating anything "woke", and you gotta know they wont just ask, they'll barge in and look through everything even your computer.
though, you should really focus on your plan. your first step: get along with people enough to even actually convince them its a good idea, and we all know you'll never dare to try that shit. you cant even be on here w/o blocking someone like me for even suggesting you are approaching this like a child playing war and you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
you think you want a second holocaust (which is essentially letting trump win, i mean hitler got the majority vote in germany. thats how he rose to power. didn't just materialize out of thin air), but you dont seem to grasp the gravity of what that entails, or even that you'd be thrown in the camps with everyone else, all to stick it to jewish ppl and "the libs", even if it means you and all the ones you love die along with them. you are a net negative to humanity and quite frankly should be on a fucking watch list.
#tankies#accelerationists#i dont think the power of love and friendship is gonna carry you through this one guys#you're waiting for someone to come along and save you- this revolution is nothing more than a complex fantasy of you being saved#and protected. nothing more.#i understand you're scared. i understand you've made this idea your whole life and the only thing you dream about to feel better#about living in a world where you're oppressed and constantly in pain and have no power. it makes sense. i create such fantasies for myself#sometimes. but when we come back to reality- we cant expect to take the whole fantasy with us per se#the world isnt one day going to magically go exactly your way. its just not going to happen. it'd be nice if it did- we think- but it wont#you have to be more practical in this. you can use your fantasy as a motivator. a goal. be the change you want to see etc. etc.#but YOU have to take steps making it a reality. no one is going to be the all knowing person who saves you from all the problems#and can do all the things you cant do and save the day or whatever. it's never going to happen. you have to be that person#for yourself. if you're gonna larp about a revolution you have to at the bare minimum have this understood.#after that- you need conflict resolutions skills and to know how to communicate#you'll need to learn how to get along with people you dont like at all. you'll need to learn how to communicate your ideas effectively#you'll need to learn how to argue and defend your ideas and how to have the humility to be wrong and accept it and the ability#to change your mind. you'll have to educate yourself and keep educating yourself. you'll have to learn how to actually listen to other#ppl instead of trying to find a way to manipulate them to believe what you do#and after all that social stuff is out of the way- you need to learn some mother fucking SURVIVAL SKILLS BITCH#how to FIGHT and SURVIVE in any kind of environment. how to use weapons and build fires out of nothing n shit#if you cant manage all of that? you're fucked.
4 notes · View notes
moonastro · 10 months ago
Text
peoples first impression of you
pick a picture
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
left to right(top)-> 1,2
left to right(bottom)-> 3,4
°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes. °Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as I would entirely appreciate it). ° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!
***IMAGES ARE NOT MINE***
────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──
Tumblr media
pile one-
people perceive the resilience that you give out, they are aware that you are not easy to mess with and you aren't as careless as they would have though you are. People often see you as closed off, most likely because of other worries of occurrences in life. You have this courage that is very noticeable and often people see that you are fearless. They see no weakness in you, you will approach life with full confidence and power. Sometimes, you can break your cool but its not because you are needy or arrogant, its because you cant stand unfairness, people notice your ambition to fix a problem especially when it is so obvious. Yeah, you have a very fixed presence and most people can be quite scared to mess up, this can be because of your facial expressions or you could be someone that is hard to impress especially with new people as you don't show your inner self to them yet. Yet you might be seen as someone gullible too. you also can be perceived as someone with their head up high and ignoring their surroundings. This can make it harder for someone to approach you as they see that you are someone who may not be in the mood to talk to people. you may struggle to trust your intuition and you may just take the leap without thinking much of it with the mindset of whatever happens- happens.
first that people notice: your physical health (you may workout or are in great physique), your beauty, your style of clothing (may be very put together and neat), your smile, your limbs.
your vibe to other people:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
chic, modest, unbothered, chill, independent, cool, grounded, intellectual, business oriented, career opinionated, vintage, fashion
────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──
Tumblr media
pile two-
people may not necessarily notice you, this can be that you don't show yourself or you just prefer to observe from afar. Yeah, people notice how you isolate yourself so they rarely see you hence why others don't see you very much. This may also be that every time someone sees you, you may not have changed that much in terms of style, appearance or attitude which may leave them not have a new impression of you. people notice how you are stuck with old patterns. this may not be a bad thing its just what others observe about you. there is lots of loneliness and others may think you are struggling with something but they feel that they cant help you because you wont allow them. they feel useless. you may have lost someone close or these transformative occurrences keep happening so you may be in constant mourning and grief and may not have time to heal. this is not the end of the world though, they may think that you have something that others may want but you are too focused on he negative. you are very good with words. you have a poetic way of speaking and when you do people are fascinated. people notice your way of thinking and how you come up with solutions very easily and quickly. you may write a lot maybe journal and get your worries out on a piece of paper.
first thing that people notice: your walk, your head pieces (may be headband, ribbon, hair clips and whatever else you wear on your head, may even be glasses), your right hand (may wear significant jewellery on that hand, your clothing colours, odd style.
your vibe to other people:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
eccentric, colourful, tired, unbothered, baggy clothing, indie, untidy style, unconventional, alternative, eyes blocked/ covered, unapproachable
────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──
Tumblr media
pile three-
people notice your positive view of the world, you may talk or have relations to other people who like your attitude and they may give you job related opportunities. you have good news with money so people give an impression that you are financially stable. you may not like to be in big groups and may not work as well in a team. this may make you quieter that you are or this may make you feel small and useless. you also may not address problems and keep them in. people usually only hear you speak about the positives in life and they wonder what you truly go through as you don't really address those topics. you are rather serious and don't take things lightly. you can take some things too seriously and people notice that about you. you take whatever you have and make it work for you. you are very vocal about your possessions and are not afraid to show off your ideas and abilities. yet, others notice how you work with whatever you are given and you do it well. you are proud of your creations and skills and are not afraid to use them and show them off. people see you as someone who is very proud of themselves. you are quite flirty in nature, you tend to show off your financial earnings in order to get others attention. you are every good with emotions and others see your empathy and interest through your expressions- this makes you very approachable and friendly. people feel like you are someone who they can trust in the long run. on the other end, you constantly regret your actions from the past which can change your mood completely. you have matured well and others notice that.
first thing that people notice: your creativity, your potential (you seem like someone who is on the path to success), your inspirational nature, your ideas, your fighting nature, your motivation, your hair.
your vibe to other people:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
classy, successful, positive, fiery, showing your legs/arms, confident, powerful, smiley, expressive, formal, sexy.
────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──
Tumblr media
pile four-
you are very hardworking and are always keen to learn and master your skills. people notice how patient you are and very detailed. you take time to get to know something so you will be able to teach someone else. people notice your ability to teach and coach others. you are are very peaceful soul, very laid back and very reserved. you will give others the chance to shine instead of yourself and i feel like only some notice that about you. you sometimes are on the verge of giving up and you are vocal about it. yup, you always give give give. you are the most selfless person that anyone knows. you are so generous that most people can think you are putting up an act but truly you believe that what you give out comes back to you. people notice your curiosity, you may question a lot of things and ask lots of questions to other people. you may also observe and talk about the things others don't care about. you always seek the truth and it may be why you question everything as you wish it would give you answers.
first thing that people notice: your pet (may walk your dog a lot of you may spend time with an animal a lot), your leadership, your vision, your determination, your honesty, your stubbornness, your friendly nature, your structure.
your vibe to other people:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
casual, simple, comfortable, easy going, in your own world, warm, natural, open, free, informal, effortless, sincere, not extra, relaxed, placid, flexible.
That is all!! thank you so much for reading, have a good day and i hope something amazing happens today.
766 notes · View notes
radiocrypt-id · 11 months ago
Text
The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)
Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.
Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.
The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.
945 notes · View notes
truelove-cafe · 1 month ago
Text
STALKING 101: yanblr edition
our topic today is being an anon. before you're an anon, there should be a bit of thought — "am i going to stay long term or short term? will i hide my identity or not?" and in each of these situations there's a different outcome
we lead with short term anonymity. when you're short term, you might not care to hide your identity (in my personal experience). you likely aren't looking to pursue the person romantically, rather it's stalking born out of curiosity or boredom. or perhaps you'd like to reveal yourself as soon as possible in the case of pursuit. you could have been lurking for months at this point, and now you're experiencing a desire to get closer to the object of your affections as soon as possible. in the case of love, especially in this community, you might hate to wait. that leads to impulsive decision making. that isn't at all bad, so don't worry
now we move to long term anonymity. whether that looks like two weeks to several months (the latter being less common, from my understanding), you'd like to stick around. this usually comes from a romantic interest, but it doesn't have to all the time. maybe you're curious, maybe you think you'd be good friends. a lot of times this leads to a lot of "getting to know each other" questions, and long asks each time. a lot of back and forth. depending on your motive, you could feel more compelled towards true anonymity, and pulling all the stops. theres a fair amount of yans who enjoy being stalked, as well as stalking others. there can be a thrill of "who is this person? how much do they know?" if you're on the receiving side, while the other is feeling somewhat elated — and perhaps relieved to express these tendencies safely — to be mysterious
my tips:
- when it comes to being forward, not hiding your identity, there's not much to say. be truthful, don't lead anybody on because it won't be hard to find out who you are. ive seen it happen a multitude of times, and i dont want anybody else hurt because of it
- to hide from your object of affections is something of a game. id suggest changing up your typing, your persona, your alias. the typing is a big part of it, as ive discovered many different people just by how they speak, sometimes even by a specific way they spell a word or two
- if you want to, make a sideblog specifically for them to find. let them come to you. it does vary with what they want, but oftentimes they'll enjoy having somebody to discover, someone who will leave little clues, but will ultimately have the upper hand. just remember not to interact with their blog, or make a little white lie about whether you follow them or not! it wont hurt them to not know such a miniscule detail
- for endgame, there are two ways to go about this in my experience. one, you slowly integrate you into your persona. you dont let them know its happening, so soon enough you and who you made yourself look like are now one. they wont know the difference, and even if they did i bet they wont comment on it
- the second option is to reveal who you were this whole time in one fell swoop. if theyre hooked (or even if not), it could be shocking to discover. perhaps even a bit thrilling to the both of you, knowing that they're now seeing everything in a new light as they sift through your blog, your previous asks, everything. make it surprising
we need more anons out there, so if you're compelled to, but shy or worried you wont be liked, take a tentative step! we all love to receive anonymous stalkers, especially those who've been the anon a time or two!
remember to make sure its what they want, as well. consent is key in all things. its easy to check; look through their intros or their reblogs — most likely they'll have good information just in those places
84 notes · View notes
starillusion13 · 10 months ago
Text
Lost you forever pt.2
Tumblr media
READ THE PART 1 ----> HERE!
Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader
Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature, Fluff
Warnings: crying, forgiveness, trust and hurt, regrets, self doubts, comfort, heartbreak, anxiety and new beginnings.
W.C: 4.6k (I swear you wont cry again)
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. This is a requested fic, initially I had no plans on making this but still some of you literally begged for it so here it is. Enjoy!
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
Tumblr media
“Bye, have a nice day.”
Waving at your co-workers before leaving the workplace early, you make your way towards the nearby flower shop. Well, it’s really weird to go to buy flowers with an early break. No, it’s not for you but maybe for others. Glancing to every shop to your sides, walking through the footpath, you find different new things on display and finding some very cute and beautiful. You made a note to buy some of those later someday and keeping in mind to not miss out the flower shop for now. Arriving to the shop, a tug felt in your heart, something is aching in the corner, something is calling out for you, a missing piece of your life.
“How can I help you miss?”
You realised that unconsciously you have entered the glass doors and standing in front of the bouquet section. How precious they look when decorated so nicely! All the beautiful flowers arranged in a desired sequence with a touch of greenery with some leaves peeking out among the spaces. Each flower representing different purposes and each colour describing specific moods. And what should be appropriate for you?
“I want orchids.”
The florist smiles at you but before picking up the first flower, she turns towards you with a soft look on her face as if trying to decide on something.
“What colour do you prefer? I guess it must be red.”
“Pink.”
She pauses and blinks at you, “Aren’t you going to give it to your loved ones?”
“No…These are for myself. For me.”
Is it?
Do you have any loved ones though?
She nods her head while picking up the fresh ones from the baskets and delicately placing them on the wooden counter. Why should you take red colour when you don’t have that love, affection and beauty in your life? That’s why you opted for Pink. A colour that is stuck between the bright affection of red that’s burning for the beauty of love and the white silence filled with desires for a new hope in your life which is innocently waiting for a blooming change.
And the flowers orchid and lily with this colour is the perfect ones to resemble you.
To resemble your life.
In the days of missing them.
“Here, this is your flowers and it’s your total.”
Taking the bouquet in your hold, you send a small smile towards her and after paying, you leave the shop. While walking to your next location, you found a little note attached to the back of the bouquet and you quickly open it to read.
‘I know you are missing someone and that’s why I have put a stargazer lily in the middle, it’s red in colour. You may have missed it earlier but believe in yourself, everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer. A miracle should occur to you soon.’
Are you really missing someone? Maybe. Is there someone thinking about you too? You stare at the flower for a little longer before looking around to find the surrounding a bit too familiar, the beach where you come a lot and past memories flashes to you.
Memories of Them.
Wiping off the tears, you turn towards the direction of the café. The past few weeks were okay. Just like okay. You didn’t have anything special or extraordinary. Your café owner came back to the town and you shared everything possible to her of what happened in these past one month because you were feeling down. Even though she soothes you to take everything normally, there is something tingling in your heart, as if something is not smooth the way its visible.
“look, here you are zoning out again.”
You got startle with the voice from your side. Here, you are sitting with your favourite pastry and breads but you haven’t taken a bite instead just sucking the spoon like a child, eyes lost in your daydreaming. After you met them that day, you just can’t keep your mind off from thinking about them.
 What are they doing right now? Did they give up on you? Why does it matter to you? Are you thinking to go back to them? Maybe…
“No. I’m not.”
“Sure. So, have you thought about taking off for few days. Don’t worry I’m not kicking you out of the work, you are like my daughter and I want you to enjoy your young life.”
“Yeah I know, but I’m not sure if I want to go though.”
“of course, you will go. you will be having the time of your life so have a fresh mind and just go, have some fun but where are you going anyways?”
She rests her hands on her waist and wiggles her brows at you. You whine and glance out the glass wide windows, everybody is busy with their daily life and the time of noon is giving the café some free time to let you have some time for yourself. Her gaze falls on the flowers beside you, she smiles to herself before patting your head. You look up at her warm and welcoming look, “maybe I will go to the beach today. There’s a lot of thoughts on my mind.”
She nods and urges you to eat.
“who gave you these flowers?”
You frown and as you look towards the soft petals, you remember the note attached to it.
everything is going to be alright if your desires and hopes are alive with you like a stargazer.
“No one. I bought them earlier when I went out.”
She again nods and glances at the clock, the lunch break is over and soon the customers will start filling up the silent atmosphere. Before leaving you alone to finish your food, she made sure that you don’t start working again today or she will scold you in front of others. She is really treating you like a baby.
Maybe, you are still a baby.
They always pampered you like a baby.
You shook your head about their thoughts and proceed to eat.
.
.
.
The fresh winds hitting your face, closed eyes and a tiny smile resting on your face but still a tear line visible. The sun giving the warmth under the cold winter afternoon but still you need more.
A comforting warmth.
You place the flowers and bag by your side and spread your legs over the mat.
Eight flowers in total and the stargazer in middle.
There are not many people around you and few couples walking by the shore. A child not more than five years old is running after a ball stopped in front of you. She smiles at you and to your oblivion, a smile appears on your face.
“you are pretty.”
Before you could have replied her, she runs after the ball and laughing loudly.
“Why do you guys have to show yourself again?” you wipe the tears and continue, “I was okay without you…it was better to be alone.” You stare at the glistening waters of the sea, waves wiping off the shore like the wind, blowing away the sadness and surrounding you with a comforting blanket of air.
Suddenly, arms wrap around you, flinching to the sudden action but a whisper choked in emotion makes you stop before you could push away the arms, “y/n……I’m sorry.”
You press your lips tight, preventing any emotion to escape you. He still remembers you.
They remember you.
They didn’t give up.
“Woo…” your eyes close to feel him against your back, breath hitting your neck, goosebumps appearing on your exposed skin, pad of your thumb caress the smooth skin of his palms over your chest. Feeling his arms loosening around you, your fingers grip tighter on him, “please…don’t give up on me.”
“I will never give up on you.” His voice is almost like a whisper, hiding behind the desire to hear your voice again, his heart aching with different emotions. The emotions which are flooding inside him but he is still unaware of the actual feelings for the current situation.
Ears perk upon the sound of some shuffling around you, palms cupping your cheeks and caressing the dried teary cheeks, “don’t tell me to go away again.” Your eyes flutter open to look at the eyes in front of you, those innocent yet merciless ones which are brimmed with tears for you, “I can’t afford to lose you…again.”
“Jongho…why are you here?”
“we all are here, y/n…for you. I’m sorry, please give me one more chance.” His tears are slowly slipping down, your eyes followed it and slowly, you wipe the tears, “please don’t make me feel guilty that I am the cause for someone’s sadness.”
Wooyoung’s grip around you tightens with your words and you can feel many more presence around you, your inner voice fighting the urge to glance towards their direction. Facing the two youngest is easy for you and they were the ones who didn’t blame you like others but still they said enough to add the fuel to the fire. But the others, they blamed you, accused you, hurt you…do they even trust you?
“you can’t hurt me ever, y/n. just don’t leave me.” Jongho said and shifted forward but is still cautious with your comfort. You nod and he sit closer to you. Twisting your body a bit, you find the others standing close to you three but as soon as they caught you staring at them, they avert their eyes, not because they don’t want to look at you.
Because they can’t make a simple eye-contact with you. They are filled with guilt.
But one is still trying his hard not to take his eyes off to somewhere else, they are focused on you between Wooyoung’s arm. Hongjoong’s eyes are red and his tears still flowing down continuously. You have last seen them two months ago and after that, it’s been worst for you. You have cried every night because you wanted to run back to them, to hear their voices but you were sure that they have given up on you.
A tear-drop falls from your eyes while watching the leader.
“do you guys still don’t believe me?” even though you are staring at him, the question is directed to everyone. Your broken voice tugs at their heart, their love for you is killing them inside that how could they even blamed you.
“y/n…” the leader says your name, tasting the name to make himself believe that he is calling you and you are in front of him not like other times when he is thrashing around everything and screaming your name, killing people out of nowhere just in a hope to see you. He couldn’t bear to see the hatred in your eyes that day. He tortured himself everyday that he blamed his precious person, he hurt his only love for something that she never meant in any other way other than saving her family, even sacrificing herself. “I believe you…I’m sorry that I broke the trust. I am the one to be blamed.”
Removing the arms from around you, Wooyoung thought that you are pushing him away from you but you just shifted in your place to face the others properly. He still remains in the same position, close to you. The warm breeze blowing, tugging your locks behind your ears, you gesture them to come close. Few hesitate but the leader and Mingi are quick to kneel in front of you. Nobody around you would believe that they are the notorious mafia gang of the city but in this different country, they are like some teenage boys asking for forgiveness.
All having the same hurt look on their faces, their heart is aching with the feel that you are so near to them, they can feel your skin, your breath, your heartbeat but still…the emotions keeping them apart from each other. They always knew that you are very different from this mafia world, too innocent for this cruel life but still you gladly accepted them in your life, you made them part of your life, you became their sunshine in the cold darkness but they didn’t know how to protect the sunshine with the darkness all around.
“If I ask you, why do you guys deserve forgiveness? What will you say?”
They look towards each other, questioning the same question to themselves. Do they really deserve you after all that? You precisely looked at each one of them, waiting for a reply. That day you let everything out of you without even giving them a chance to speak anything. Once, they didn’t let you say anything and next time, you didn’t let them say anything. Huh! You all are same.
“you can’t reply.”
They frown at you but you nod. “you all still don’t know why you are here. For me? but for what?” you shake your head and sigh, “you want me to forgive you all. To go back to you and forget everything but have you thought one thing. Why the first thing that came to your mind was that I betrayed you?”
The question pierced their heart, reminding them how badly they hurt you that evening in the party. They want to delete that part forever but the more they try to forget it, the more its imprinting in their memory.
“Hongjoong…I know, you know this answer.” You nod at him, when he gulps and nod his head, the others are already expecting the known answer from him.
“because he was my dad.”
A small smile appears on your face. You are satisfied with the expected answer, your finger curl above your thigh.
“yes. You trusted him because he was your dad. If I were in your place, I would have done the same. You did what you should, Joong.”
Hongjoong’s eyes become big. He is shocked hearing you.
They are surprised with your sudden smile, and hearing you are appreciating him for what he has done.
“y/n?” Mingi has a visible frown on his face to which you chuckle.
“what? It proved me that he is capable of trusting his beloved ones even after they betrayed him. he was just being a child who stood against me for his father. But…” you wipe your tears and Wooyoung hugs your side, you pat his hand with a sad smile. He really misses you. He is the most clingiest one among them, even if you hurt this boy to the end, he will still hold your hand and look at you with the eyes of admiration. “but…I was hurt that you all didn’t mean to hear me for once.”
Mingi grabs your hand above your thigh and squeezes it, “I’m sorry, y/n. we really regret that we blamed you without hearing you. We didn’t let you explain. It was a big mission for us, we were so mad at everything and we didn’t think properly and in the end, we hurt you.”
“regret? Mingi…regret is a big thing. If I still go away today without forgiving any of you. Who will regret?” you lick your lips. Jongho shifted to your side, “please…don’t go away.”
“we both will regret. You will regret and blame yourself for hurting me and feel that you are the reason I am gone. Also, I will regret too because even when I got the chance to talk out everything, I still chose to hold my ego and distanced myself from you. I really cant stay without you.” You are completely crying at this point. Tears can’t be held back and Mingi quickly engulfs you in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “y/n…I can’t stay without you too.”
His hands are shaking, maybe soon you will push him away like that day but you didn’t, instead you clutch his shirt and cried in his embrace. Jongho is patting your head with a sad smile on his face. He is glad that you still love them, hearing that your heart aches for them makes his heart warm with the love for you and he even blamed himself more for that day.
Retreating slowly from the hug, Wooyoung wipes your tears and smiles at you. You avert your gaze towards Yeosang who is always quiet with his feelings, you know he always wants to tell a lot but he keeps it to himself, fearing to mess up anything.
But when you send a smile towards him, he stared at you like a child and smiles back.
“do you hate me because I slapped you that day?”
He shakes his head, “no. I deserved it.”
You chuckle, “should I slap you again?” your joke makes him laugh a little. This is the first time he is laughing in these three years. He, literally all of them were emotionless and ruthless after they found you nowhere. Jungwoo really kept you hidden in another country, far away from them. Had it not been their mission there, they wouldn’t have met you again. Maybe, the fate has again brought you all together.
Seonghwa cups your face, eyes scanning everywhere until your hand grips his wrist with the assurance that he doesn’t need to worry. Still, he is hurt, “how are you, y/n?”
“Seonghwa, how are you? And how should I be?” he looks down but you make him look up, “look at me and tell me. I am not shouting today. I am patiently hearing you all. We should have done this long before but we both were scared. You were scared of your anger because you thought I betrayed you all and I was scared of you.”
You were scared of them.
They wont ever get this feeling off their heart that they made you feel scared of them.
“I was scared how Hongjoong was fuming in anger and accusing me in front of all the guests. I was scared of Mingi looking at me like I broke all of his trusts. I was scared of you how you were blaming me for everything and treating me like an enemy, my head was spinning. I couldn’t understand anything. I wanted to say so much but Yeosang shouted on me and threatened me. and…” lastly, you look at the two who has kept their distance from you, they still can’t forgive themselves. They did worse out all of them. “Yunho…tried to slap me, he wanted me out of his sight…maybe dead.”
“y/n, trust me I’ll never want you dead. I will kill myself before doing something to you and for which I will be responsible for my brothers’ regrets.”
“and your regret?”
“I wont keep myself alive to feel the regret.” You stare at him until you look towards the last person.
“but you killed a part of me when you held the gun to my head, San.”
His lips trembles hearing you, he knew what he did was beyond the forgiveness. He himself can’t even think of how to forget it and forgive his deeds. He almost killed you. If he didn’t resist to pull the trigger, you would have been dead.
“NO! y/n, please…I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I want a chance to prove myself to you. I..I don’t know how to say but you should hate me but please don’t go away again. Don’t tell me to give up on you.”
You remove Jongho’s and Seonghwa’s hands from you before standing up and make your away out of the pile where they are all sitting around you.
“y/n…please don’t go.” Wooyoung’s voice cracks and Hongjoong pats his back.
You dust your knee length floral frock, “I am not going…” you turn around, your back facing them. The waters washing your bare feet, the dress flowing with the wind, hairs dancing to the rhythm of the silent melody in the breeze, eyes watching the sun above the horizon, soon it will say the goodbye to the day and the silent night with the roar of the big waves filling the shore.
“I want to feel the moment. What it feels to be with your loved ones again in the same place where you have spent days of crying alone.”
You crane your neck to look at them and smile. They are attentive to your every word, every action, every emotion. You are calm and collected, totally different from the day you were anxious and scattered.
“You often come here?” Hongjoong asks you slowly and you nod while turning towards them. You are shining under the setting sun, their angel. “Come on, one of you already knows about it. Right, Yeosang?”
Everyone looks at him and he slowly nods. “I tracked her location everyday and one day when I saw her spending too much time in this particular location, I thought she was in danger but she was just crying to herself. And since then, I followed her here and watched her from a distance.”
They are surprised to hear that he followed you and you were aware of it.
“don’t pretend you all are any better. You all have stalked me in different ways.” You shake your head with the thought. “living with you all atleast taught me a lot how to know if someone is keeping an eye on me.”
“somebody was stalking you?” Hongjoong is totally confused and when you nod, Seonghwa and Mingi have the same expressions like him. they both ask you the same question.
“Yunho is almost a regular customer at the café. He thought no one would recognise him being so obvious. You don’t drink strawberry milkshake then why did you order that day?” you raise your brow and he presses his lips in line before replying, “I heard you made it specially that day for the children and I wanted to taste it.”
“Are you a child? You even asked saying it's for your daughter. My coworker was so upset knowing you were married.” He laughs lightly.
You fold your hands in front and gesture towards San, “I know it was you who saved me that night while returning from Mrs. Lee's house. Thank you, San. I know you can’t hurt me. you were disturbed and held the gun towards me but give me some time. I promise I will forget it.”
He quickly gets on his feet, approaches towards you and engulfs you in a hug, “Thanks to you, y/n for not giving up on me, on us. I promise you too. I wont ever let anything to happen us for which we have to regret more.”
You nod in his embrace. The ruthless one who was threatening you to shoot is nowhere to be seen today but still a part of you is still hurt.
You are lost in the moment with San that you didn’t notice them on their feet around both of you.
“y/n…you said a lot of things that day.” Jongho’s voice makes you break the hug but San is still holding your hand. Hongjoong casts a glance towards him and proceeds, “about that…about the…”
“about what?” you furrow your brows.
Mingi completes the sentence, “about the baby.”
Oh. Yeah, they still remember it. You thought they didn’t care.
You look towards them, feeling intimidate under their gazes, overwhelmed with all the attention on you, you clutch his hand and gulp the lump with the thought of your baby.
A wave of emotions erupted in you.
“my baby…I lost my first baby…I don’t deserve to be a mother.” Seonghwa pulls you in a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. He glares at others for bringing up the topic but deep down he knows, some day it needs to be raised and you had to face but still seeing you breaking down in his arms is making him more upset.
But there is a relief that you are not pushing away them again. He holds you tighter.
San caresses your head and softly says, “it’s okay, y/n. don’t cry. You deserve everything, every little good thing and happiness of this universe. You will be a great mother.”
You rest your head against Seonghwa’s chest and turns towards them, ear picking up the beat of his heart and after so many years of missing them, you are finally with them, in their arms.
Your eyes are hurt and lost in emotion.
“thanks for listening to me that day…I really wanted to take those all off my chest. I felt so nice after screaming everything to you all. I have spent days of crying to myself but everyday I hoped atleast one of you to come to me. Wooyoung and Jongho didn’t blame me much but still as your brothers, they supported you. I was upset, angry, stressed and guilty but you know I was relieved that whatever happened, in the end I had saved you all.”
“Hongjoong…I have saved you from dying. I have saved your gang but somehow…I couldn’t save my baby.”
Yeosang wipes your tears, “don’t cry. You did a lot for us. I don’t know if we deserve you in our life. You are the purest one and still we hurt you, we owe you for everything that you did to save us.”
Seonghwa adds, “I’m sorry, y/n. But I will be always grateful to you for saving us.”
Yunho steps forward and pulls you towards him, your back coming in contact with his chest and holds your hands in front, “look at the view of the setting sun, y/n.”
You glance at him then to others and then to your front, the sun setting slowly.
“you are pretty like the sunset on the sea.”  He plants a kiss on top of your head.
“me?”
Seonghwa nods along with Yunho. Others have a fond smile on their faces.
“why?”
“the level of our love changes with every waves of our emotions. The glass waters represent the tears that reflects the feelings towards each other but still shining, highlighting the bond and strength of us. No matter how rough the days are or how smooth the flow of life is. We will always stay together and forever.”
“Really? But I am still hurt, Yunho. It’s really not easy for me to forget everything.”
Seonghwa pats your cheek lightly, “you really can’t forget it so easily. We did wrong and you should see us like the ones who are guilty for this but let’s again build the bond together. None of us can live without you. If I lose you, I will lose myself too.”
San is hesitant but wooyoung urges him to speak, he steps near you, “we have so much to do in our life. We need to prove you so much. We have to return you the happiness, the smile that you lost that day, the trust you lost that day and your love for us.”
“San, I have lost a lot already. Don’t remind me of those. But atleast I have you all again. Even if I had gone away that day but still I was relief that neither of you were hurt in the mission. You all were safe.”
Mingi smiles, “you are safe too.”
“if you all really wanted me dead then you would have tried many things. I am alive because your love for me, your inner trust for me didn’t let you kill me.”
Hongjoong places a kiss to your side of the head, “I will not let anything to hurt an inch of you. I will show you how an actual princess is to be treated.”
“Even if I have lost everything, my love for you will never get lost. It’s always secure in my heart, beating with the heart strings of our loving bond. Please don’t break it again.”
The setting sun with a promise with a twinkling star in your eyes, the tears of a hope of new beginning. The innocent blossom of a forgiving love. The flowers in the memory of them are left behind with the stargazer still in the middle surrounded by the orchids.
Just like you, their star, surrounding by the stargazers around you, your loved ones.
“please don’t let me go again.”
Tumblr media
Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @scuzmunkie @yuyusgamingchair @chngbnwf @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn
267 notes · View notes